Lament of a single woman living in a couples world

Let's face it. We live in a couples world. For the single person - single meaning: over 30, never been married, widowed, or divorced - this couples world can be tough to navigate. Sure there are many perks of being single, especially without having the responsibility of children. And of course, the old adage is true, "the grass is always greener on the other side." Overall, I think I do well at making the most of my single life. Yet, for me, the most difficult part is being left out of things because I am single and not part of a couple. It is especially hurtful when friends who were formerly single or single again suddenly ignore you and exclude you from activities.

Before I move on, I must commend my friends at my church. They are wonderful at including not only me, but the other singles in our church community. I am grateful for their awareness and action! I LOVE that we are becoming more inter- generational and are breaking down the marital status barriers! For those in my church community reading my blog, I want to say THANK YOU! Thank you for the inclusive, supportive community you are building! I am also grateful these friends allow me to love, enjoy, and observe their children ( without having to babysit!!)! Thank you from the bottom of my heart!

So, for those of you who are married or not married but have a significant other, I want to encourage you to reach out to your single friends. We need each other no matter what our marital status.

Here are some helpful tips:

** invite your close single friends along on a vacation with your family. I know travelling has become awkward for me as I get older. I don't want to go on a vacation alone ( well, I did to Paris but that was a unique situation) but it is hard to find single friends to go with on vacation.

**invite your single friends out to dinner with your family. Who likes eating alone. I have been to restaurants on my own, but prefer the company of people!

**invite your single friends out to the theatre with your family. Who likes going to movies or the theatre alone. Once again, I have been on my own but prefer being with people I know and care about!

**invite your single friends over to hang out with your family. Don't assume your single friends don't want to hang out and don't assume they have an amazing social life and are too busy! Most of the time they are home alone!

**invite your single friends on other family activities you may be doing, like hiking, skating,etc.

** help out in practical ways (ie)- offering to fix needs around the house or help solve issues with the car, etc.


I know there are times when you need to be a couple and need your family alone time. We singles get that and no need to feel guilty! But, I am just encouraging you to be sensitive to the needs of the singles in your life, whether it be at your church, your work or your neighbourhood. (I think it is especially difficult for "senior" singles. )

TOGETHER , let's make this world easier to navigate!