Today, one of my students in grade 5 said the following to me when he heard I was going to McDonald's for lunch:
" Miss W, are you going to McDonald's for your birthday too? You should go to Kelsey's and get a chocolate milkshake. It is like... TASTING HAPPINESS!"
As I was about to put a spoonful of delicious fruit salad into my mouth, I heard this soft chanting behind me. I was in our staff kitchen helping the students in the spec. ed. class make fruit salad. Two of the boys who have autism (one of the boys I wrote about here) were finished their duties and sitting on one of the green leather staff sofas. As I turned around, I saw these boys peeking above the back of the sofa smiling mischievously and chanting my name over and over again. The comical part about this teasing was the accent coming out of the mouth of one of the boys. He has a Canadian accent but was chanting in his parent's native tongue! I had to turn away and laugh! It was the cutest thing. The teacher then piped in and told the boys, " we do not tease in our class, so please stop!" Immediately the boys said to me, "I'm sorry 'Kawwwin'!" I'm just thankful they didn't swear at me! I LOVE that these autistic boys have a sense of humour. This "incident" made my whole day! Must have been something in the fruit salad!
We can learn so much about life through students with special needs. I am grateful they are a part of our planet. It is my desire the world will come to value these precious ones more fully. It is a honour for me to work with these children on a daily basis. My life is richer.
expectations misplaced expectations send me in a tailspin round and round.
steady now i want to get off.
i am choosing to let go of these misplaced expectations. it is only hurting me, not the one whom these misplaced expectations are directed towards.
grief. that is what i feel and embarrassment for thinking we were kindred spirits all these years.
change. change and expect nothing in return. send my bitterness, hurt and grief in a tailspin. in a tailspin to the abyss. leave it there. leave it there forever.
hope. i hope i can look at this friendship in a new light. i hope we can take a ride together someday round and round and see the world and our friendship in a new light.
I was in shock when I entered her room. Her ashen body lay lifeless on the hospital bed. Frail. Faint. Two months ago this sharp, coherent, English woman was much more cognizant of her surroundings. What happened?
Every week for about 2 years I grocery shopped for Jean Fugol, a senior confined to her home. It may sound strange but I LOVE grocery shopping. So I eagerly anticipated this time each week where I would have a visit with Jean and then shop for her needs. Some weeks she was full of chatter and would share of her days gone by. I quickly learned Jean was a very wise woman and I enjoyed hearing of her life in England before immigrating to Canada.
Advice flowed eagerly and gently from her lips. I am thankful I was taught to revere the elderly at an early age. Those who have gone on before us are rich in knowledge and I welcome their life stories and advice. One thing Jean always said to me was,"enjoy your life now and travel before your body does not allow you anymore." I heeded her advice! She loved to hear of my travel adventures, especially to Paris! Jean also LOVED the way I dressed and told me she was living vicariously through me!
Jean had minor surgery in the summer and never fully recovered. I really don't know why. I think it was a combination of limited care in the hospital and the fact Jean just gave up on life. She told me her family rarely visited her, in fact, I think I visited her more than her family and my visits weren't as frequent as I wanted. This loneliness and rapid decline in her health was sad to watch.
So many elderly in nursing homes and hospitals are left alone by their family members. It is a shame. A shame that they who gave birth to their children, who sacrificed everything for their children, end up alone. A shame. A tragedy really.
Jean died last week. I know she is in a much better place now and I know this English woman is full of vibrant joy once again!
Jean, you'll be happy to know I'm planning another travel adventure soon! Rest in peace my friend. I love you and miss you!
For Jean...
Kensington Market, vintage shops, Toronto, ON, May 2009 :)
"Happiness" on Mary Lake
