Generational Sin

His deep perplexed blue eyes looked sorrowfully at me while speaking these words,
“what did I do wrong?"
With the onset of dementia, I am surprised he remembered a family member of mine wasn’t talking to him for an incident that occurred long ago. A memory clearly not forgotten. Or rather, a realization that old friends had stopped spending time together and he didn’t know why. The time has come where he wants to set things right, except he doesn’t know what he did wrong. I don’t know what went wrong. It was so long ago. It made me cry. In a strange way it was a beautiful thing to see the innocence in his quest for truth. He just wants to hang out with these old friends again. Yet, my tears were tears of sadness. Heartrending tears which see his confused state in a body that used to be strong and alive. AND, distressing tears which loathe the generational sin that entangles this and future generation(s). I can't right the wrong, even though my nature is peacemaker, because it didn't involve me directly. Nonetheless, it still affects me. I can’t move stubbornness into grace. I can’t heal the pain. I want to. Only God can change hearts. But, here’s what I can do. Pray!

I also made a choice to stop the generational sin with me. No grudge holding, No bitterness. Just grace. I’m not perfect. Did I mention I pray! I pray HARD so it won't entangle my life. Life is too short and too precious to be wasting time on things that now seem so trivial. I hate that the sin of my forefathers influences my life today in unexpected ways where I sometimes only discover by “fluke.” Ways that catch me off guard. Then I am left dealing with the consequences when the people initially involved in the situation are dead and gone. Forgiveness is a necessity - the key to “letting go and letting God.” Yes, forgiveness can take time. And yes, it is normal to feel anger and bitterness. But to allow it to ruin friendships and relationships with family is poignant. Grace. I need to allow more grace to flow abundantly in my life with my family and with my friends.

“Grace, grace, God’s grace,
Grace that will pardon and cleanse within.
Grace, grace, God’s grace,
Grace that is greater than all my sin.”

(Excerpt from an old hymn, "Grace Greater Than Our Sin.")