In love

I am in love with this Canadian rock band, Nickelback, my fellow Canucks. This is a new found love! Of course I have heard them before but never really got into them. However that has all changed! I am loving this new album, "Dark Horse." Great lyrics. Check out this video of their single, "Gotta Be Somebody." This song speaks to me everytime I hear it. I crank the volume and sing and dance my heart out! Enjoy some home grown goodness! (I've enclosed the words for you after the video)



This time, I wonder what it feels like
To find the one in this life, the one we all dream of
But dreams just aren't enough
So I'll be waiting for the real thing, I'll know it by the feeling
The moment when we're meeting, will play out like a scene
Straight off the silver screen
So I'll be holding my own breath, right up 'til the end
Until that moment when, I find the one that I'll spend forever with

Cause nobody wants to be the last one there
Cause everyone wants to feel like someone cares
Someone to love with my life in their hands
There's gotta be somebody for me like that
Cause nobody wants to do it all on their own
And everyone wants to know they're not alone
There's somebody else that feels the same somewhere
There's gotta be somebody for me out there

Tonight, out on the street, out in the moonlight
And dammit this feels too right, it's just like deja vu
Me standing here with you
So I'll be holding my own breath, could this be the end
Is it that moment when, I find the one that I'll spend forever with

Cause nobody wants to be the last one there
Cause everyone wants to feel like someone cares
Someone to love with my life in their hands
There's gotta be somebody for me like that
Cause nobody wants to do it all on their own
And everyone wants to know they're not alone
There's somebody else that feels the same somewhere
There's gotta be somebody for me out there

You can't give up, looking for a diamond in the rough
You never know when it shows up, make sure you're holding on
Cause it could be the one, the one you're waiting on

Cause nobody wants to be the last one there
And everyone wants to feel like someone cares
Someone to love with my life in their hands
There's gotta be somebody for me, oh
Nobody wants to do it all on their own
And everyone wants to know they're not alone
There's somebody else that feels the same somewhere
There's gotta be somebody for me out there
Nobody wants to be the last one there
Cause everyone wants to feel like someone cares
There's somebody else that feels the same somewhere
There's gotta be somebody for me out there

An Unexpected Surprise

Have you ever had one of those moments in your life when you know you are exactly where you are meant to be? When you are ever mindful of the here and now, living through each step, eagerly anticipating the outcome? Wonderment! Choosing to "seize the day!" Carpe Diem! A marvellous surprise awaits for the beneficiary.

Tonight I was the beneficiary of one of those beautiful surprises. God allowed my path to intersect with this beautiful woman called "Soleil." How fitting a name as she WAS a ray of sunshine on this cold, dark, winter's night. Soleil illuminated my car as I drove her to her doctor's appointment. ( I am a volunteer driver for "Community Care." ) Do you see the radiance of her expression? The wisdom written across her face? Do you see every well-deserved, handsome wrinkle expressing the story of her life?

Soleil is Lebanese and speaks very little English. However she does speak Arabic and French. I had mentioned to her daughter, the contact person, that I could speak a little French and only one word of Arabic! There must have been some miscommunication down the line because Soleil thought I was fluent! Picture this with me for a moment. We are driving west towards Toronto on the "401," which is a 16-lane highway, during rush hour. I am trying to concentrate on my driving while at the same time concentrate on what Soleil is saying to me in French- or is it Arabic! I am barely understanding anything but just keep smiling. Soleil didn't seem to notice!

When Soleil and I arrived at the doctor's office, we ended up sitting beside a woman, Sully, who just happened to be Lebanese also. I was nestled tightly between the two S's - Soleil and Sully! Instantly they began to converse in Arabic. I was enthralled by their conversation, fully aware they were discussing the atrocities taking place in Gaza,Israel, the "Holy Land"-- so close to their homeland. I could see the pain on their tense faces. I could see the sadness in their bright eyes. I could feel their heartbreak pulsating with their every breath. I was alive in this moment. Even with the language barrier between us, I felt a part of this dialogue. It was beautiful. The outward smile, the inward tears. It caught me by surprise.

I love the Lebanese people. They remind me of Newfoundlanders- so friendly, welcoming and very hospitable. I had Lebanese neighbours in the apartment below mine when I lived in Edmonton. On many occasions, I would sit and chat with the father, who had had a stroke and who spoke zero English! He would invite me to sit with him and drink Lebanese coffee! It was VERY strong! He actually taught me the only Arabic word I know! It always amazed me that I was able to learn an Arabic word from a man who couldn't speak English. I LOVE how communication knows no bounds! We had a special connection. Those quiet, speech-less moments together taught me an abundance about the human spirit. We wept when I learned I would be moving back to Ontario. He was gift. I was the grateful beneficiary.

Sully bid us farewell. The drive home seemed to fly by. I felt like I had known Soleil all my life. When I pulled into her driveway, she invited me in for Lebanese coffee! I accepted the invitation for I knew I needed to be in this moment. In addition to the STRONG coffee, Soleil brought me a plate of fresh fruit to eat! She tried to entice me with more coffee but I told her I would not be able to sleep tonight! I had a lovely evening. I was fully alive and thus reaped the benefits of this precious encounter! God knew I needed that gift of friendship tonight! I knew I was exactly where I needed to be. Carpe Diem! You never know what unexpected surprise awaits!

(This story is in keeping with Carmi's theme of the week, "surprised." For more stories and photos, click here.)

Sunday Worship

"When I see the beauty
Of the sunset’s glory

Amazing artistry

Across the evening sky

When I feel the mystery
Of a distant galaxy
It awes and humbles me
To be loved by a God so high













What can I do but thank you
What can I do but give
My life to you
Hallelujah, hallelujah
What can I do but praise you
Every day make everything I do
A hallelujah, a hallelujah
Hallelujah





When I hear the story
Of a God of mercy
Who shared humanity
And suffered by our side
Of the cross they nailed you to
That could not hold you
Now you’re making all things new
By the power of your risen life "
(Paul Baloche & Graham KendrickCopyright © 2005 Integrity's Hosanna! Music )

(Photos from top to bottom: Daisies in Northern Ireland, July 2008: Sunset over Lake Ontario taken from the Go Train, January 2009; Giant's Causeway, Northern Ireland, July 2008; Paul Baloche leading worshippers into a deeper connection with God, October 2008, Cambridge, Ontario; A new life, Northern Ireland, July2008.)

Blessed

"What is a friend? A single soul dwelling in two bodies." ~Aristotle

Air Canada Centre, Toronto, Jan.23, 2009- Karaoke for "The Edge" radio station. Singing "Every Breath You Take," Sting October 2008-Massey Hall, Alanis Morissette concertSeptember 2008- Oshawa, Ontario, Montana's

September 2008- Toronto International Film Festival

September 2008, Whitby, Ontario

October 2008-Massey Hall, Toronto - Alanis Morissette concert

Parents looking out for the best interest of their children? You decide!

Living in close quarters with "active" parents over the age of 70 can present some privacy challenges! (*wink*wink*...I have to speak in code as my folks may read this blog, although most times they forget I even have a blog! Whew!)

For instance, my parents know when I have my period - or "that time of the month" for those of you who may be blushing right now! You thought I was going to share something juicier didn't you? I'll have to save those stories for later and do I HAVE stories!

Tonight, my father was visiting his buddy down on the 4th floor. He returned with this book in hand...


It was "dog-eared" to this page...

Dad winked at me said, "I thought this information might be helpful for your bad cramps."

Thanks dad for looking out for the welfare of your daughter!

I don't think he read the title of this page, "Coping with Infertility." Not my problem Dad!

*wink* wink*

Thematic Photographic - "AGED"

A searching I did go in my "tickle trunk" (also see here for the original) the other day for a scarf and stumbled upon my K-Way pants! Does anyone remember "K-Way" clothing?

They have "AGED" well...

K-Way pants and jackets were popular when I was in Junior and Senior High School. Here I am wearing my K-Ways in 1979 or 1980. I forget the exact year but know from our car, a Chevy Citation, it would have been around those dates. My family would go cross country skiing every Sunday, so this particular day we spent up in Muskoka where we had our summer trailer.

My K-Ways were a winter staple! They even travelled all across Europe with me back when I lived in Sweden 1986-87. I couldn't have frolicked in the snow without them! I am surprised at the fond memories flooding my mind as I write this post involving my beloved K-Way pants:

...having to sand furniture all day for Friday work duty in a cold barn at school, running away from crazy Italian men in Milan, braving a snowstorm in Vienna on New Year's Day in order to find a nice restaurant that would be open, only to end up in a small cafe right out of the pages of Charles Dicken's "Great Expectations" ( we saw a Miss Havisham that night!), running around Salzburg emulating the Von Trapp children, singing "I am Sixteen" in the infamous gazebo, climbing the Austrian Alps, exploring the old fortress, cross country skiing through the most beautiful forest in Bavaria, cross country skiing through lit forest trails behind the school, Advent and Christmas celebrations in the town square drinking glogg, Sunday afternoon football games in the snow...

Strong, enduring. Ah sweet "AGED" memories!

Why not resurrect them once again! Tonight I went for a **walk/run in the snow proudly wearing my K-ways! Amazingly I can still fit into them after 29 years! I guess I've "AGED" well too!

**I just can't seem to transition from a walk/run to a run/run in all this snow and cold weather we are having of late. Sidewalks are still snow covered which makes running a bit treacherous.

Another season has begun creating new memories with my K-Ways!

For more "AGED" photographs, pop on over to Carmi's blog and enjoy the stories behind the photos!

In sickness and in health...

Did I sign up for this? It's the least I can do, right? After all, she endured 9 months of pregnancy with me , labour and delivery - although, apparently it was quick and easy and apparently not much pain at all, the pre-teen and teen years, the college years, the adult years, 41 wonderful years in all!

Little did my mom know that her and my father's hard-earned money toward my higher education in Nursing school, even though I changed careers, would come in handy one day!

Tonight, I had to give an enema ( ignore the second half of this link...mom needed the remedy for constipation not the other!) to my mother for the third time! Did I sign up for this? You bet! It really wasn't all that bad. I'm just not used to all the talk about the function or lack thereof of her bowels. Mom and her friends swap bowel stories with each other - even in public. They don't even "bat their eyes." Will my friends and I turn into our mothers?!

What about Bob?

I finally have an update on this story. I saw Bob on Tuesday night at choir practice. Without hesitation, I approached him to ask how his Christmas dinner with "those who live outside" went. Beaming, he told me it was great. He then proceeded to chat me up about his father's antique electric guitar he brought along to rehearsal! Bob is an interesting guy and I actually look forward to our future conversations!

A Celtic Prayer to begin your day...

I have been learning about the Celts and their dedicated, natural prayer life through my reading of "The Path of Celtic Prayer: An ancient Way to Everyday Joy," by Calvin Miller. They hungered after God out of the desperation of their lives. The only world they knew was the natural world. I also love the fact that they prayed to the Trinity, which only made sense to them because God is Father, Son and Holy Spirit. Their fervant, honest prayer life is an incredible example to us today in how we can connect more deeply in our relationship with God.



I thought I would leave you with two Celtic prayers to encourage you this morning:



"I will build up my fire today in the presence of the holy angels of heaven, in the presence of Airil of most beautiful form, in the presence of Uiril of all beauty without hate, without envy, without rivalry, without fear, without horror of anyone under the sun, for I have the holy Son of God as my sanctuary. O God, enkindle in my inmost heart the flaming spark of love for my enemy, for my relative, for my friends, for the wise person, for the foolish person, for the unfortunate person, O son of gentle, shining Mary, from the lowest most perverse person to the one of highest fame. May the simple tasks that occupy our current day provide for us such a matrix for devotion."



" The love and affection of the angels be to you,

The love and affection of the saints be to you,

The love and affection of heaven be to you,

To guard and cherish you.

May God shield you on every steep,

May Christ aid you on every path,

May Spirit fill you on every slope,

On hill and on plain.

May the King shield you in the valleys,

May Christ aid you on the mountains,

May Spirit bathe you on the slopes,

In hollow, on hill, on plain,

Mountain, valley and plain."



( From the Carmina Gadelica)

The Gift

It isn't sold in stores
It is homespun
Homespun from the very breath and being of parental protectors
A gift from The Father
It is,
"a feeling of deep sympathy and sorrow for another
who is stricken by misfortune, accompanied by a strong desire to alleviate the suffering."
It is ceaseless compassion
This gift
A priceless inheritance
From a father to his daughter
Jesus' reflection to the world
No greater gift.
Pass it on
This legacy
My birthright
Immortal
This gift.


Two recipients of this gift
Surprisingly, This man and another like-minded soul
Living on the outside.
The circumstance
An evening of hockey.
The inaugural adventure commenced at no other than
Our beloved Tim Hortons.
While slowly sipping our coffee
My father noticed the forlorn man standing by the door
Innately my father walked up to this man, smiled, offered a greeting, then discreetly
Gave him enough money for a coffee and something to eat.
No sooner had my father sat down
When another older, itinerant
Came marching over to our table.
With his toothless grin in full view,
His inquiry for a coffee was child-like,
"Can I have a coffee too?"
Ensuring impartiality wasn't he?
My dad chuckled, looked over at me and said,
"they don't miss a beat do they?"
Reaching in his pocket,
My dad handed this man his share of
The Gift

Our evening of hockey continued,
Full of memorable moments.
I will cherish the time spent with my daddy.
Immortal.
A gift.

(My father standing in "The General Motors Centre," Oshawa,Ontario, Canada, waiting for the OHL game between the Oshawa Generals and the Kingston Frontenacs.)

( I won Box Seats at my Hospice Christmas party, so here is my dad standing in our box. We only shared the box with one another father and his son! That is another story for another time!)

for shame!

I felt a firm tap on my shoulder. When I turned around, I was immediately drawn to his eyes. A vibrant, infectious gleam of light stared straight into my soul. I looked away. I was uncomfortable. He was holding something in his weathered hands. He wanted to tell me the story. Except I was not present in the moment. My thoughts forthwith became judgemental and haughty. My body shifted back and forth in an uneasy swaying motion. I reached for the hand of my friend to stay beside me but the hand was not there. She was gone to collect her children from the church nursery. He moved closer to me - well beyond the line of personal space. His body stench was making me choke, but we had to be in close proximity in order to hear one another above the chatter in the church foyer.

I first met this disheveled, middle-aged man a few months ago at a worship team practice. He was to be joining our band as one of the electric guitar players. It was clear he was a tad bit eccentric, but was friendly enough. He had been quite encouraging to me one Sunday when I sang my first solo with the choir. It was also becoming clear he had a wee bit of a crush on me. Thus, the reason for my reaction in that church foyer. Or was it the reason. At that moment, I had to truthfully search the intentions at my core. I didn't like what I stumbled upon.

The dissident people of this world have always somehow been drawn to me and for some reason I always tried to deflect any lingering contact. Strange- hypocritical really- considering I was striving to be like Jesus. I was given some wise counsel by a friend/teacher back in 1988, whom I met at Holsbybrunn Bible School in Sweden, that made a huge impact on my ensuing outlook of these "misfits of society,"

"...Karyne, I am happy to hear that you're involved in different kids and youth "things" at your church. If you are interested and give the kids of your time you're doing something real important. They need somebody who is willing to listen and take them seriously.I say this because I believe that all personal contacts are our main responsibility and our best opportunities to share our genuine faith. It's not so much the elaborate methods and neat programs that attract people to God. It's real people in real relationships! And by the way...

I think I can tell you why you seem to attract "weirdos" to yourself. Those are people who don't fit and aren't accepted. They don't measure up simply. And when they feel that you don't look at them that way, they can't do anything else than try to develop that little friendship that is so vitally important.

Don't misunderstand me when I tell you this and don't feel that all this puts even more pressure on you. You don't have to do anything. But what you decide to do, do it honestly and in a free way.

These people can notice right away whether you care about them at all. And since they don't get respect as human beings from everybody, just a few actually, they simply can't resist the warm personality that you radiate. So these people are weird, clumsy in their expression of emotions, different, maybe even dangerous at times, but so what?

The reason why I make this such a big deal, is that I am utterly convinced that we as Christians find God available in the little ones of this world. We know that Christ shows something unique about the One and True God. God is on the side of the weak and oppressed. We meet God in these people, because He has identified Himself with the lowest of human misery. That's my starting point for my belief in God. So Karyne, God bless you in these contacts. I believe you're going the right direction if these people are attracted to you! Then you radiate true love. I don't write all these things to flatter you. Take it as a real encouragement though. I believe in you!

Your friend in the promised land, Jorgen Skold."
( I didn't realize just how wise those words were back in 1988! As I pen them here I am in awe. This letter was written when I was in university for nursing- before I entered full time youth ministry. Oh how I have learned exactly what he knew- the hard way at times! He was so young to be so wise. Unfortunately, I have lost contact with Jorgen. I hope our paths cross again one day!)

Over the years, I learned to embrace my fears and reach out. Or so I thought. I am now face to face with someone in my church community who, without realizing it, is challenging my belief system once again. He just wants to tell his story to someone who will actively listen. Without me knowing at that moment, he also wanted someone to pray for him. I knew I had to give this man my full attention. I knew I had to squelch my awkwardness and say to myself, "so what if he has a crush on me, listen to his story, learn from him, what is God trying to say to you through him.

The item being clasped by his weathered hand was a solid-pine, electric guitar "sound box," minus the neck. His brother handmade it for him for Christmas. It was beautiful. His face glowed as he recounted the history of how this guitar came to be and how it was to be completed. He wanted me to touch it. I hesitantly obliged. Carefully I felt the curves, felt the smoothness of the wood, felt the painstaking hours it took the craftsman to create. Now, I was ready to end this conversation as I was hungry and wanted to go home for lunch. Politely I excused myself but not before he asked me for a favour.

As he spoke, that gleam radiated to my soul once again. He wondered if I would pray for him that afternoon. He had invited some homeless people- those who live outside- over to his house for a post Christmas dinner. ( honestly, this man looked homeless himself.) He wanted to share Jesus with them - would I pray. Of course! I reassured him I would, said goodbye, then quickly headed out to my car.

As I drove away into the blazing sun, I couldn't get the vision of his elated countenance out of my head. Shame on me for being uncomfortable. Shame on me for caring recklessly. How impudent of I. For shame. I prayed PASSIONATELY for him and his Christmas dinner that afternoon. God in His graciousness and mercy gently restored that right spirit within me. I hope I can continue to radiate true love - God's love to the "little ones of this world." Living out our worship. (As of yet, I have not been able to connect with him to get an update on how the dinner went. When I do, I will post it here!)

Today, I was reading in Amos and Isaiah and the following words in Isaiah jumped out at me. They speak for themselves. It is God's word after all!

"...This is the kind of fast day I'm after: to break the chains of injustice, get rid of exploitation in the workplace, free the oppressed, cancel debts. What I'm interested in seeing you do is: sharing your food with the hungry, inviting the homeless poor into your homes,
putting clothes on the shivering ill-clad, being available to your own families. Do this and lights will turn on, and your lives will turn around at once. Your righteousness will pave your way.
The God of glory will secure your passage.
Then when you pray, God will answer.
You'll call out for help and I'll say, 'Here I am."
...If you are generous with the hungry
and start giving yourselves to the down-and-out,
Your lives will begin to glow in the darkness,
your shadowed lives will be bathed in sunlight.
I will always show you where to go.
I'll give you a full life in the emptiest of places-
firm muscles, strong bones.
You'll be like a well-watered garden,
a gurgling spring that never runs dry.
You'll use the old rubble of past lives to build anew,
rebuild the foundations from out of your past.
You'll be known as those who can fix anything,
restore old ruins, rebuild and renovate
make the community livable again."
( sections of Isaiah 58, The Message)

*****Images from Celebrating the New Year*****

A tender kiss between my parents... The shock of such a public display of affection...
Raising our glasses to the new year, 2009...

Another tender moment between husband and wife...

...and their youngest child....

Karaoke stars...

...this would be the youngest child of our hosts for the evening...

A budding superstar at 2 years old...she picked up the mic all on her own!

A family that LOVES Karaoke...

Friends singing and dancing....

...here I am on the right doing my part "karaoke - ing"

Here's the youngest child of the hosts again...obviously not impressed by our singing...

...she thinks we're crazy!

He stole my Indian slippers, put them on, then raced around the house. Apparently he has a shoe fetish and thus could not resist my jewelled slippers!

Mother and daughter....

Father and son....

Mother and son....

Father and daughter....










...singing....

..."In the Highways," by Maybelle Carter ( Johnny Cash's mother-in-law)

Our hostess and her oldest daughter...

The men talking about man things!

Here I am sitting alone at this HUGE dining room table...it looked odd to me...

Father and the "shoe-stealer" son...

Friend and friend's daughter...

The children having their own party in the basement...

Mother and her children....

Here I am enjoying all the children...

She had enough of posing for the camera....

Friends having fun at the skating party!

A memorable New Year's Eve!