my christmas wish - for my brother - come home, come home

come home, come home
please forgive
please let grace abide
no room for bitterness
no room for stubbornness
no room for anger
no room
unconditional love awaits
it never left
even though hearts broke
into a million little pieces
please try to understand
the illness
no one's fault
let the One mend our pain
let the One mend our anger
let the One mend our stubbornness
give the One our past
give the One our bitterness
let it fly far, far away
into the abyss
unconditional love awaits
arms are wide open
let the One heal our family bond
before there are deep regrets
before it's too late
life is precious
it is a gift
a gift to our future generations
please come home
come home
that is my Christmas wish

***Epilogue: I love how the writing process works. This post began very differently. I was to write about my observations at a recent cousin's funeral, where their family was shattered because of unforgiveness. I was deeply moved. I am the peacemaker in my family so, I decided to write to my brother via this blog regarding some of our familial dysfunction. It was somewhat accusatory. However, a still small voice within kept saying these words to me, "come home, come home." So here is how that still small voice directed me! I have no idea if my brother even reads my blog but somewhere out there I hope he is listening with openness. I chose this pic to go along with this post because my dear sweet "S" is the essence of "home" here on earth where unconditional love, forgiveness and grace abide. Peace. May God's peace abide in our lives forever.***

Mind- less Cycles

sitting down,
thinking.
trying to be honest with myself
trying to find the words
examining my heart's cry
allowing myself to feel
allowing myself to cry from the bowels of my soul
longing for freedom
longing for peace
longing for relief
longing for wisdom
longing for patience
trying to express how it feels at the core of my being
grasping how to react, how to care yet allowing my soul to speak
tired, exhausted
the cycle begins again
figuring out how to share space with someone whom I love dearly
who has a mental illness
i hate the stigma that clings
clutching tightly
it sucks energy
sucks life
takes advantage
prevents vulnerability
when really it is about fear
people are afraid
i especially hate the judgement from the church
it's wrong
for shame
fear at the marrow
yet somehow the church,
the body of Christ
is to be a safe haven
cling to Jesus
He is true love
He created these precious souls
created their broken minds
He is the Healer
took upon Himself the mark of disgrace
displayed true love
Mother Theresa said,
"The dying, the cripple, the mental, the unwanted, the unloved, they are Jesus in disguise...Speak tenderly to them. Let there be kindness in your face, in your eyes, in your smile, in the warmth of your greeting."
Jesus in disguise
i like that
help
help
help end the mind-less cycle
but i'm scared
i'm tired
tired
i don't know how to respond anymore
it's painful
painful
it's hard
hard
but
i keep praying
i let go of bitterness
i forgive
i forget the hurtful words spoken
i forget
i love
as Rumi says,
"Love is the cure.
For your pain will keep giving birth to more pain,
until your eyes constantly exhale love
as effortlessly as your body yields its scent."
(thanks P.C.-if you are reading this- for introducing me to the poems of Rumi!)
exhale
sigh
breathe
i learn
i am stronger
release
surrender
peace
the mind - less cycle becomes the mind- filled cycle wrapped in my true Love
Jesus

Untitled Poem/Song

Looking through my old journals tonight, I came across this rough draft of a poem I wanted to make into a song, but never did - yet! It was written in September 2003. It is raw and vulnerable. It speaks for itself, with one exception...I have risen above and am celebrating my singleness today! (sure I still have my moments, but the pain and loneliness is not as deep as I used to experience)

One more thing...I never did come up with an appropriate title so if any of you have suggestions, please feel free to leave me a comment! Without further adieu, here it is:

Complete/Why?

Why
Why am I on this soapbox
Why do I still struggle with these high school feelings
Why does it still matter what guys think of me
Why do people assume there is something wrong with me
because I am not married yet
Why do people think we are not complete and whole beings
because we are not married
Sometimes the pressure is too much
Sometimes the pain is too deep
Sometimes the loneliness too unbearable
Why do I get overlooked
Why do I feel rejected
I'm tired of getting overlooked - of getting rejected
There is nothing wrong with me
I am complete
I have every reason to be confident in
Who God created me to be
It is my prayer that those girls who come behind me
Who feel this way
Who ask "why do I get overlooked?"
Will rise above
Will Dance
Will Celebrate
Be complete!

The grand arrival of "Similes are Like Metaphors"

Here's a story

Of a Canadian teacher

Who was eag-er-ly awaiting her grand prize

Fin-a-lly Mr. Postman de-ee-liv-ered

Right before her very eyes...

The "winning" Vintage Vantage t-shirt that will arise....

Okay, okay, I promise no more cheesy poems to the tune of "The Brady Bunch" theme!!

Here is a pic of me and my new t-shirt!! Isn't it perfect! !:)

No one was around to take a photo, so I attempted this one myself! Stay tuned for a pic of me, this t-shirt and my class!

I was a bit disappointed this evening when I wore my new t-shirt to run some errands and to get my hair cut. No one commented on it!! I just think this shirt is hilarious, so I assume other people will find it funny too! I guess my sense of humour is different from the rest of the world!!:) C'est la Vie!!!:) I am just thrilled "similes are like metaphors" found its home with me!

A budding writer? You decide!!!

I am soooo excited! I won my first ever essay contest!! I discovered this cool online vintage t- shirt company, Vintage Vantage, via my bloggy friend Ally and his wife Cherith.

In the above photo, I am modelling my first ever Vintage Vantage t-shirt! Wouldn't I make a great tourism ambassador for Canada!!!? lol!! So, I was browsing their sale rack when I found this shirt.

I HAD to have it! Not only was the colour calling my name, but the logo!! I still crack up laughing at the play on words!:) Wearing this t-shirt at school would help reinforce parts of speech to my students in a creative way! I was about to order it when I came across this "Top Shelf " essay contest. So without further ado...here is my winning "essay" and the email notifying me of the good news...


hey karyne-
thanks very much for your pre-amble, amble, and post-amble!you win you win!lemme know your shirt size, and where it's going one more time so I'm sure and I'll get a shirt out to you...get back at me with anything else at all and I'm here for you...for reals

james
www.vintagevantage.com

Top Shelf Essay Contest

Pre-amble:
I wrote a song for the occasion to the tune of "The Brady Bunch Theme Song" ( Frank DeVol & Sherwood Schwartz)Don't worry, I didn't plagiarize. I acknowledged the original writers of the song! I hope you enjoy my 124 word paraphrased rendition. Sing it almost 4 times and it will meet the 468 word requirement!I have also enclosed a pic of my very first VV t-shirt! Wouldn't you agree I make a great Canadian tourism ambassador in your t-shirt?!!!:):) Without further ado, here is my song:

Here's the story of a lovely Canadian teacher
Who was busy teaching her students the parts of speech
All of them were keen on learning like their mothers
The youngest ones were like a peach

Here's the story of a vintage t-shirt company
Who was busy as a tribe of its own
They were trying to bring back the fresh in regular t-shirts
With the help of many good people they were not alone

Then the one day when the teacher met this cool company
She totally knew they were a perfect match
That Camp Cool would have a t-shirt to help her teach the parts of speech
"Similes are like metaphors" what a catch!
That's the way they all became the perfect batch!

Post amble:
Oh how I long to wear your "Similes are like Metaphors" VV T-shirt! It was meant for me to wear! It is calling out my name!! Like a baby calling for its mother!!! Please pick me as the winner of your top shelf contest!!!:):) If you do not choose me, please let me know ASAP so I can order "Similes are like Metaphors" before they are all gone!!!:) Thanking you in advance!
From one of your fellow tribeswoman at Camp Cool,
Karyne
PS Surely I am at 468 words with pre and post ambles!!:):)

Enough

Enough
Enough now
Surrender
Surrender to God
Breathe
Breathe deeply
Reach
Reach high
Live
Live right
Be
Be confident
Confident in who God created you to be
Groove
Groove to a different beat
Accept
Accept life
Go
Go do what you are meant to do
Now
Soar
Explore
Explore new heights
Stop
Stop comparing, complaining
Create
Create with what is inside you waiting to explode
Do
Do what you have always wanted
Regret
Regret nothing
Peace
God's peace be with you
Enough
Enough now.

(Written on October 6, 2004...one of my first attempts at writing a song. I don't have the music to this song yet. Funny enough, this song was inspired by the movie, "Love Actually." It was during a scene where this guy had been secretly in love with his best friend's fiance/wife. He finally declares his love, gets it off his chest and then walks away saying, in his English accent, " enough, enough now." He can finally get on with his life!)

An Attempt at Songwriting!!

One item on my "Things I Want to do Before I Die " list is to try songwriting!! I do think songwriting is a gift you are born with, but feel you can learn to write songs! So, I thought I would give it a try. Here is my first attempt at a song! I don't have the music to it yet, although I do have some ideas floating around my head!!! This song was inspired by one of my students who has autism. I worked with her for 3 years and grew to love her like my own daughter. As a single woman, I feel so blessed that God puts children in my life, so I can love them, learn from them and enjoy them, just like they were my own!! This young, autistic student of mine, who is now becoming a woman, delights everyone that crosses her path. She is a gift from God! I dedicate this song to her!!! If you want to learn more about Autism, check out, www.autism.net or www.autismtoday.com.


"A black-haired little girl with a joyful grin,
Lights up the room as she walks in.
Proudly standing, O Canada she sings,
Thinking about her favourite things.
Nail polish, lip gloss, clickity shoes,
Boy whales, girl whales,
Miss Whalen whales too.
Excited about the day ahead,
She soons checks to see what she has read.
'Brown Bear, Brown Bear, What do you See?'
Her favourite storybook she rhymes off with glee!
Quickly her thoughts turn to that magic hour (9:30)
When new toilets, especially white toilets, have all the power.
Flush, flush, flushing we go,
'Don't waste the water...no, no, no.'
Finally, ready to work with all her might,
Enthusiastically she perseveres until she gets it right.
A black -haired little girl with a joyful grin,
Lights up the room as she walks in."