a new lesson in "sharing" etiquette from a box of kleenex

One of my students in grade 5 (age 10) had this creative idea to ensure no one in her class would use her tissue...


Translation: " I cofet (coughed) on this so if I were you I wouldn't touch unless you want to get sick like me." (I believe this student wrote the LOL after some of her classmates told her she was being rude. She wanted to ensure she was only joking!)

Brilliant idea, isn't it?! Another school-life moment which made my day!

my perspective from the choir loft

As I scanned the crowd from the choir loft this morning, a quote I read over at Supersimbo 's blog popped into my head:

“What is church? It’s people, broken people, pretending not to be broken and that’s what breaks it.”
(The quote is from Phil Groom’s blog post
http://philgroom.wordpress.com/2010/07/23/broken-church/)

So many broken people. I see it in their eyes. So many broken people trying to be brave. So many broken people mustering all the strength they have to trust God, our Healer, with their brokenness.

We've come a long way at my church. The walls of pretending- everything- is- great are being torn down. I see more vulnerableness. I see more transparency. I see less judgement. And that makes my heart happy.

I can understand why we pretend not to be broken. It requires letting go of pride, of being humble, of being exposed. Dictionary.com defines vulnerable as, "being open to attack." Sadly, there have been many in the church who have been attacked when they have shared their fractured lives. Some chose to forgive and stay while others chose to forgive and move on.

The church is to be a refuge, a safe community where broken people - and that includes ALL of us - can find freedom and release, without judgement, from our fragmented lives through our relationship with Christ.

As one who is also broken, I hope I can reflect and encourage an attitude of openness, without judgement, for the hurting people I see from the choir loft each Sunday. We are in this together. We are the church. Let's stop pretending and allow our Healer to turn our brokenness into something beautiful which fosters truth, growth and honour to our great God.

The Magic of Memories and Muskoka Chairs

Muskoka Chair (or as my US neighbours call it, Adirondack Chair) August 2010, Port Sydney, ON

The last few weeks have been a whirlwind. Hosting my cousins from Northern Ireland was wonderful, but I must admit, a bit exhausting. I started back to work in the middle of their visit, which proved to be a bit crazy! I am glad to be back to work and back to the fall routines mind you! One of the highlights during my cousins' visit was our camping expedition to the resort I spent all my summers at when I was a pre-teen/teenager! I hadn't camped there in years. Those were some of the best summers of my life.

Memory is an amazing gift. As I ambled down the steep, dirt pathways of the trailer park through the forest on our way to the beach, I recounted to my cousin the many crazy adventures I experienced at this "cottage country" get-a-way...

jumping off the rope swing...cliff diving off the rocks of the Canadian Shield...sunbathing in the Muskoka chairs on the beach...skinny dipping...campfires...s'mores...singing around the campfire...hayrides...horse back riding...honeymoon trail...summer friends...fresh air...clear view of the bright starry sky...chipmunks eating out of your hand...raccoons rummaging through our garbage... swimming out to the dock at dusk...Friday the 13th scare through the forest paths...Midnight Madness in Huntsville... cruising into Huntsville via the river and through the locks...Port Sydney rapids...Port Sydney beach Sundays...great 80's music like Bryan Adams, The Police...breathtaking fall colours...cross country skiing in the middle of winter...winter youth retreats...aawww...sigh...

The magic of memories made me realize I was truly "home."

Mary Lake, Port Sydney, Ontario, August 2010

is it really the end of summer? back to work already?

Saturday August 21, 2010 Tommy Hilfiger, Outlet Mall, Niagara Falls, ON

I am grateful for my job and grateful for the holidays we receive. I must confess, and this may sound strange, it is hard to go back to work (September 7th, my birthday!) after having the summer off. Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining, but I wish I could retire VERY early! Since that isn't an option, I am anticipating the arrival of my cousins from Northern Ireland tomorrow. It will be a great way to end my fantabulous summer! Cheerio for now!

Eat, Pray, Love, Eat, Eat...

December 1986-on the steps of the Leaning Tower of Pisa, Italy. I am thoroughly enjoying my fresh Italian bread, cheese and wine!

Last night I had a love affair....with my wood-fired, "Opa" pizza sitting on the patio of my favourite restaurant! It was a perfect evening. Live music filled the cool night air, a welcome relief from the intense humidity we have experienced all summer. You probably can guess I had just seen the movie, "Eat, Pray, Love." (Shh Carol and Carolyn! I know the DAMN Altos are going to see this movie in September but my friend asked me to go as a pre-birthday celebration! I will gladly see it again!) After the movie, my friend and I were inspired to relax, enjoy our glass of chardonnay and eat our pizza with our hands! (What risk takers we were! My friend and I are both "eat-pizza-with-a-knife-and-fork-kind-of-girls!") No reservations! Dig in, savouring the rich flavours of this gastronomic indulgence!

Both my friend and I re-lived our adventures in Italy and France remembering how much we loved their culture. Even though the French and Italians lead busy lives like ourselves in North America, there is something special about their ability to enjoy a balanced life. They take the time to relax, enjoy the company of their friends and family while also taking the time to savour the food spread around their table. No need to rush. No need to hurry. At the end of the day, they get their work done. At the end of the day, they make their guests, and even strangers, feel loved. I could get used to their way of life!

So, last night I had a love affair! And it was good.

be careful what you wish for

My Christmas wish sort of came true today. My parents and I received an email 3 weeks ago from my brother which stated, "Time has a way of soothing. I would like to connect and move forward if you are willing..."

You can imagine our excitement. My brother was "coming home." Over the years I prayed for reconciliation but truthfully, most of my prayers were prayed flippantly and with cynicism. My brother can be a stubborn sort!

We met my brother for coffee today. It didn't go well at all. **sigh** I'm very disappointed. Clearly my brother is not ready to move forward. There are still unwritten expectations that need to be dismantled, on both sides truthfully. However, it was next to impossible to share our perspectives because my brother would interrupt and shut the conversation down. It was so frustrating. I must say I was proud of my parents. They did handle themselves well. I was a wee bit worried! There were a few things they would have been best not to mention, but that is their way and their generation! One thing I observed- their love for their son. It was free flowing, unconditional. But, my brother was blinded by defensiveness to see it. **sigh** It was heartbreaking things didn't turn out the way we hoped.

My dad ended up having a reaction to all the stress later in the afternoon. He began to shake uncontrollably, was feverish and sick to his stomach. He was very disappointed too. I'm not sure why my brother wanted to meet us if he wasn't ready to move on. But, I am continuing to trust God in this matter. He has started to soften my brother's heart, soften my parent's hearts, soften my heart and has started the healing process in our family. I don't understand. It is painful to see the hurt in my parents' eyes. But, I have to continue to trust the One who heals broken lives.

I hate this dissension in my family. Life isn't suppose to turn out this way! There are no guarantees are there when you raise your children? Parents do the best they can. My parents raised us well. Sure, they weren't perfect but who is. We were loved, cared for and given all we could ever dream or imagine. I am grateful for my upbringing. I find it strange that siblings can grow up in the same environment yet have totally different perspectives on how they were raised.

*sigh* One day we will have the best homecoming ever! I have to believe that.

let it go

My head clearly sees the solution needed to heal my torn heart.

presume:
verb
to take for granted, assume, or suppose

presumption:
noun
the act of presuming

Friendships can be difficult to navigate but worth the effort of staying on course. I didn't expect, as I have travelled on my life journey, I would still have to carefully negotiate amicably my alliances. What I'm learning is I have placed, subconsciously, certain expectations on some of my close friendships. These unwritten presumptions have caused unnecessary hurt, anger and frustration. Although to be fair to myself, these expectations are valid. But, I need to protect my heart. Thus, I need to let it all go. I need to let go of these presumptions clouding my mind in order to save myself from more ensuing heartache. Self-protection is a good mechanism. With the continual release of these expectations, I will be free to enjoy the friendships that have hurt my soul. They are worth saving. Breathe. Let it go. Absolve.