I am Strong! Happy International Women's Day!

I am strong!

 I didn't always feel strong. Nor did I know just how strong I was until I walked through a family crisis a few years ago. The most difficult time of my life. However, I made it safely to the other side. Although I should have known my resilience long ago.

As you read in my previous post, as a young, naive 18 year old, I travelled to Sweden on my own after high school to attend a Bible College for 7 months. Then I backpacked around Europe solo.

I moved to western Canada knowing no one to start my full time career after university. I created a wonderful life in Edmonton.

I then transferred to eastern Ontario finally settling in my hometown where I have been working as an Educational Assistant for 15 years.

For my 40th birthday I travelled to Paris on my own for one week. It was the most freeing time I have experienced. I felt alive. Joie de vivre!

Even though I never married nor had children, I have an incredible tribe of men and women surrounding me, supporting me, encouraging me. I am  grateful to God for allowing my path to intersect with beautiful humans who have empowered me and taught me many life lessons along the way.

Here I am now in a new role,  a woman entrepreneur. Some days I feel out of my league as I advocate for better health protective/beauty laws in Canada. But I am strong. I am resilient. I am intelligent. I am compassionate! I can do it!

I am strong!

 My strength comes from my parents who always believed in me and encouraged me on my life's journey.

 My strength comes from God who showed me unconditional love and ignited a passion within.

My strength comes from another women:

Nellie McClung.

Thank you Nellie and your suffragettes for paving the way for us women in Canada. Thank you for fighting for our right to vote. Thank you for fighting for us to be declared as persons. Thank you for empowering the future generations.

It is my prayer I can empower women that come behind me to be all they can be and recognize they are beautiful, strong humans on this planet with the mission to spread their love and voice to all they meet!

Happy International Women's Day!

We are strong.

We have a voice needing to be heard. Use it wisely!

You are strong!

Love,
K
xo

The Last Time I Cried

A beautiful human soul whom I now call friend, loves to ask unique questions. These questions bring conversations to a deeper level where honesty, vulnerability, non-judgement, transperency and love abide. He has actually begun a "Becoming Questions" series posting a new question each week. His question this week sparked a surprising response from me. I thought I would post it here on my blog. Without further adieu...

When was the last time you cried and why?

The last time I cried was last week in my car driving to work. I had to hold back the deep gutteral tears that were forming or I would not be able to see to drive and my contact lens would be blurry all day!  So I released some of the tears but not all.

I need desperately a good gutteral cry but don't have an alone place just yet where I am free to let it all out not worrying about the sounds that come out from deep in my soul.  I am not sure why those deep gutteral tears hit me that particular morning but they have been forming for a while. Why?

Weeping for the stress I have been under the last three years caring for my parents' illnesses. Weeping for the way it tore my family apart. I had to live through it, keep going, be strong, live life. Work. Grieve. No time to weep then.

Weeping for the restoration God brought to our family. A true miracle. Grateful to God.

Weeping for the resentment at having to let go of some of my life to help care for my parents. Weeping for the guilt because they have sacrificed so much for me over the years and have loved me unconditionally. The least I can do is care for them.

Weeping for this season of life. My time is precious with my parents. I don't want to lose them but that is the cycle of life. I am afraid to be left alone. I love them so deeply. The cycle of life continues on.

Weeping because I won't be a mother to my own children. Weeping at the anger towards God for not allowing me to experience a precious life growing inside me and raising that precious child.

Weeping at more anger towards God for not bringing that precious soul mate into my life even though I felt I have lived how He wanted me to live as  a Christian. I am definitely not perfect but I tried my best.

Weeping at these thoughts because I know God has given me a fabulous life and I have experienced so much!  I have not put my life on hold. I am grateful for my life.

Weeping because I am just plain overwelmed.

Clearly I need a gutteral release. And soon!  Funny how many of these same issues I am weeping over return to the forefront of my mind and I weep a little here and there. But I need that deep soul wrenching release. Praying I find a space where I can cry, really cry and be free.