Mind- less Cycles

sitting down,
thinking.
trying to be honest with myself
trying to find the words
examining my heart's cry
allowing myself to feel
allowing myself to cry from the bowels of my soul
longing for freedom
longing for peace
longing for relief
longing for wisdom
longing for patience
trying to express how it feels at the core of my being
grasping how to react, how to care yet allowing my soul to speak
tired, exhausted
the cycle begins again
figuring out how to share space with someone whom I love dearly
who has a mental illness
i hate the stigma that clings
clutching tightly
it sucks energy
sucks life
takes advantage
prevents vulnerability
when really it is about fear
people are afraid
i especially hate the judgement from the church
it's wrong
for shame
fear at the marrow
yet somehow the church,
the body of Christ
is to be a safe haven
cling to Jesus
He is true love
He created these precious souls
created their broken minds
He is the Healer
took upon Himself the mark of disgrace
displayed true love
Mother Theresa said,
"The dying, the cripple, the mental, the unwanted, the unloved, they are Jesus in disguise...Speak tenderly to them. Let there be kindness in your face, in your eyes, in your smile, in the warmth of your greeting."
Jesus in disguise
i like that
help
help
help end the mind-less cycle
but i'm scared
i'm tired
tired
i don't know how to respond anymore
it's painful
painful
it's hard
hard
but
i keep praying
i let go of bitterness
i forgive
i forget the hurtful words spoken
i forget
i love
as Rumi says,
"Love is the cure.
For your pain will keep giving birth to more pain,
until your eyes constantly exhale love
as effortlessly as your body yields its scent."
(thanks P.C.-if you are reading this- for introducing me to the poems of Rumi!)
exhale
sigh
breathe
i learn
i am stronger
release
surrender
peace
the mind - less cycle becomes the mind- filled cycle wrapped in my true Love
Jesus

Summertime. Thus far...

Father's Day Excursion to the Trout Farm... I was feeling under-the-weather but decided to go on this adventure with my parents...


...married for 52 years on June 29th, they still are going strong telling each other what to do while prepping for this photo op!! I did capture a lovely pic of the two of them after this, but thought I'd post this pre-pic of them getting ready for the photo!





A lovely shot of the happy couple at our first pit-stop, "The Dutch Oven" , for our breakfast to get us energized for fishing. It did more than energize me...it gave me the "runs" all day. Not a good situation when you are in the middle of the wilderness!!

The Trout Farm....

..this is how my mom, the city girl, passed the day!!!:)

Putting the bait on the hook.

My first catch of the day.

Mom knitting among the weeds!

Mom and Dad enjoying each other's company while incorporating their hobbies!

On our way home we stopped at an antique market in an old barn. I loved this old tap attached to the barn and thought it would make a cool photo!

July 1, 2009. Dad and I ventured over to "The Mandarin," a Chinese buffet, where they were offering free meals to their customers. What a way to spend "Canada Day!" ( mom was sick in bed so Dad asked me to go with him)

At 10:15am the line up was already long...

...we met friends in line...

We had to prove we were Canadian citizens in order to enter. We finally sat down to eat at

2: 50pm! Was it worth the wait? Let's just say I won't be doing it again!! We did however have some excitement in the line up which made the wait more exciting...

Two young adults decided to butt in line. I actually had been watching them for a while trying to latch on to a group, but the people around weren't cluing in to their shenanigans! I decided to take matters into my own hand and talk to the security guard in order to give him the heads up and ask that we get let in before these "line-butter's!" I didn't want to make a scene. All went according to plan until...

someone behind me caught on to what these guys were trying to do. Joining in the conversation, I politely and calmly talked to one of the boys and explained that we had been waiting for hours and it wasn't fair that he was trying to butt in the line. He blatantly lied and said he had been waiting here for hours too. I then tried to explain in a calm tone that clearly he was lying because we had proof through photos and the crowd surrounding him were witnesses to the fact he and his friend were indeed butting in line. A friend of my dad's tried to tell me to drop it, but this was a case of bullying and was clearly not right! These boys were being belligerent. I wasn't being unreasonable nor angry. I was calm and was trying to use some humour in the situation. The people behind me were more angry at these boys so I took it as my cue to walk away. A few minutes later there was a commotion and raised voices. I notified the security guard to come help put an end to this craziness! With great difficulty this security guard managed to get them to leave and head to the back of the line. At the same time, it was finally our turn to enter the restaurant after a 4-hour wait! Yes, we were crazy!

Later on when we were sitting enjoying our meal, we saw these same boys outside trying to do the same thing in another part of the line. The security removed them again!! Also, while in the buffet line, I overheard several people talk about these two boys who were extremely belligerent and tried to butt in line. Somehow I think they were up to badness to see if they could get a reaction from people. What a shame! It didn't spoil our fun though. It was a Canada Day to remember!

My friend Michelle and I took a trip into Toronto to see The Dead Sea Scrolls at the ROM ( Royal Ontario Museum). I saw this cool, themed bike rack outside the ROM...

The new front entrance at the ROM. Trying to look like the Louvre??? I wasn't keen on this new design but found the interior to be worse! I thought it would be all glass inside as well, but it was just plain, white dry wall. I'm wondering if they are planning on opening things up so we will be able to see all glass. That would be more impressive...

I had fun taking some photos though from different angles...

My friend Michelle at the start of the exhibit. We apparently were not allowed to take photos but I snuck this pic before my camera was confiscated!

Summertime in Toronto is all about enjoying the outdoors...

or eating on outdoor patios...

Celebrating my dad's 76th birthday...

VBS (Vacation Bible School) at my church...
Our theme for the week was called "EDGE: Experience and Discover God is Everywhere"

- based on the extreme sport concept. Each grade had an extreme sport name. I oversaw the grade 6 "Spelunkers!" (cave explorers-I confess I had no idea what spelunking was before VBS!) My counsellors and I decorated our room to look like the inside of a cave! We had a busy, eventful but fabulous week. I so enjoyed working with this age group and with my amazing

counsellors! We did experience God in a fresh way!

Summertime is not complete with delicious desserts. Here is my mom's key lime pie topped with her famous meringue.

I look forward to enjoying the rest of my lazy, hazy days of summer.