My knotted stomach untangled itself when God whispered in my ear, "you were meant to be there that day at that exact moment." Fright and fear turned to peace of mind and thankfulness.
Thankful I followed my "spontaneous instinct" which led me to my friends' house last Wednesday evening. I was on my way to do some respite work for my former employers, who happen to live around the corner from my friends, when I decided to take a detour. I had about 15 minutes to spare before my shift started and thought I would drop by. I wasn't sure if they would appreciate an unannounced visit but thought, 'oh well...I'll do it anyway!' I also remembered I had some photos in my handbag I was to give them.
As I neared their driveway, I saw my friend's husband playing with his children outside. I was warmly greeted and then invited to go inside the house where my friend was renovating her family room. I chatted with her for a bit until their phone rang. Looking at the clock, I realized I had to go so I waved goodbye then headed out the door. I stopped to say goodbye to my friend's husband who was sitting in a camping chair on the front lawn watching his children play. Surreptitiously, a car approaches and stops to the north of their driveway.
A middle aged man of average build and small stature gets out of his car and meanders up the drive towards the two of us. I saw him before my friend's husband did and said, " oh you have company." I stood back as my friend's hubby greeted this man, "hi, may I help you?"
"Is that your child riding her bike on the street,?" he asked sternly. "She is not allowed. She is too young." ( She is actually older than she appears and was wearing a helmet) " I am off duty and was driving by, but am going to file a report." In a shocking tone, my friend's hubby said, "pardon?" The man repeated himself then proceeded to pull out a business card from his plaid shirt pocket. I was flabbergasted by the implications of his question. I immediately put two and two together and figured out he must be from Family Services. I was puzzled by his accusations. I didn't think it was against the law nor considered neglect to allow your child to be riding his/her bike on the street in order to travel to a neighbours house with the parent supervising. ( Apparently there is nothing illegal or neglectful about this according to the police)
I sighed deeply then felt the knots begin to form in my stomach as I eavesdropped on the ensuing dialogue between this man and my friend's hubby. I really needed to go, but before I left, I ran into the house to inform my friend what was taking place outside. By this time I was angry. What is this world coming to if parents can't let their children play outside in front of their homes without the fear of being scrutinized by organizations such as Family Services. Don't get me wrong.
I acknowledge that Family Services have a tough job and are invaluable and necessary in most cases. However, this gentleman, in my opinion, was way out of line. I literally felt sick to my stomach for my friends as I drove to my client's house. I started to pray because I had a strong gut feeling this man wasn't going away anytime soon. I also had the sense to document what I witnessed on the pad of paper I kept in my handbag.
I won't go into all of the details but will say this man did file a report and now my friends have to find a lawyer. Their lives have been turned upside down in an instant. They are AMAZING Christian parents who don't deserve this upheaval in their lives. I'd like to say nothing will come of this situation as it just seems so absurd. But who knows.
One thing I do know for certain is I was meant to be visiting their home during that 15 minute window for some reason. God knew I needed to be there and whispered quietly in my ear so He could guide me to the intersection of this trial, reflect His peace, bring comfort to my dear friends and present the truth, if needed, to the powers that be. No need to fear. No need to be knotted inside. Breathe and find solace in the arms of Jesus.
4 comments:
That is silly. The are SO MANY kids that need the help of protective services that they should investigate a bit more before spending all this effort on decent parents and 'protecting' kids that don't need protecting. I pray that this 'attack' will draw the family closer together.
This is scary...that the social times have empowered people to do something like this to average citizens. This is straight out of 1984. This MUST stop!
@ Aphra...yes it is so silly but a wee bit scary to think your kids can't even play peacefully without watchdogs waiting to pounce. Thank you for your prayers. Please keep praying. Their lawyer would like me to email him my account of the situation. I think it will all be okay. This worker seems to have been put out that my friend's husband stood his ground. I think it was an ego thing to be honest why he filed a report of my friend. Thanks again for your prayers.
@ Lauren Yes Lauren it is scary. It really seems like it is going too far doesn't it.
Hey Karyne!
Do I have stories I could tell!! Its an abomination this happened. But, I'm not surprised, given that I have had a bird's eye view of what transpires behind the scenes at family services!!!!
Last year, I was facilitating a group of parents who live in public housing. Without getting into a lot of details, this community had been wounded deeply by a perpetrator who lived in the community. They had been trying to seek help for their children. It was a horrendous situation and the stories were heart breaking. During the group session, they started spilling their stories...so many of them!! Between myself and a social worker who was co-facilitating with me AND a victim witness counsellor from the police station, we documented the incidents and reassured them it would be submitted to the proper authorities. Nothing was done!!! They wouldn't take the "second hand" report despite the fact that the three of us were professionals and two of us worked in the same dept. as child protection. oh no! Instead the authorities began harrassing them by submitting reports about their 10 year old children playing the court in front of their homes unsupervised!!! The parents were all around.....the kids were not unsupervised.
Needless to say, I tried to raise the biggest stink ever, but was put in my place by a supervisor who had no inkling of courage in her system, who was more inclined to cover her ass than to stand up for the rights of children who had been violated. It never went anywhere even though "higher ups" were informed.
It made me sick to my stomach.
My feeling is that these frontline child protection workers don't even touch the more severe cases at times because they are overwhelmed by them and by the red tape that chokes the life out of them! It is sickening and sad and because of the inability to deal with the more serious cases, we have children wounded and sometimes slipping out of the protective eye of community.
The guy who filed a grievance? He is an ass.
I would suggest that your friends take this to the Ombudsman, and their local MPP. They have the power to drop the stupid charge.
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