Online Dating. Is it for me....

Times Square, NYC, August 26, 2009

...NO!

I tried the online dating scene a few years ago with no success. In fact, I have crazy stories about the "blind dates" I went on as a result. I swore myself off the online dating scene, or so I thought! At this stage in my single journey it is difficult to meet single guys so online dating is a viable option, or so I thought! I know it has worked for some people, which is wonderful, but it is proving to be more of a heartache/headache for me!

I broke down this week while off on March Break. A Christian online dating service sent me an email with free time so I thought, "what have I got to lose!" I have to admit at first it is addicting, but then it becomes a bit boring until....

...until that moment you meet a great guy, or so you think! I am pretty cautious and thought I was good at weeding out the crazy ones! This guy and I seemed to have this great connection. I thought things were going well!

Sexual purity is something that I hold in high esteem. Although my beliefs have shifted a little as of late. It seems there are many "christian" guys out there who don't hold the same beliefs which is surprising to me. This was the first time a "christian" guy basically told me he had an issue with my beliefs and held it against me.

To be transparent, I have done alot of soul searching because of this journey. I was extremely hurt and shaken. It has left me a bit disillusioned and questioning everything I have stood for, which is what I believe God wants for our/my lives/life. Not to mention the fact that I feel utterly and completely embarrassed. It has also left me wondering if I will ever find a guy who will get me for me (and I him)!

I am grateful for friends who keep me accountable and grateful for my God-given ability to discern and exert self control. Sure I have moments of weakness like anyone else, but I had enough sense to let this guy go. He is not worthy of me!

Online dating opens you up for rejection, in an interesting sort of way. It's hard to explain unless you've been there! I don't want to put myself through this again so I hope I will say good-bye to online dating forever!

One day very soon, I have to believe, you will be reading about an upcoming wedding on this blog!

***FYI: I love my single life. I have a great life. I have been able to do so many amazing things in my lifetime. I am blessed. I don't hold back because I am single. But I want to be married one day and share the rest of my life with that special someone. I want a family. I know the "grass is always greener on the other side," however God didn't intend for us to be alone! I just wanted to clarify! ***

How about this hairstyle ?

I am enjoying my week long March Break thus far, but knew I needed to post these pics I took on my mobile phone the last school day before break. As I walked into this student's class that day I was immediately in awe of her new 'do!



I LOVE the creativity! It was even more funky and cool in person! Isn't it AWESOME! I wish I could do this with my hair! Enjoy your day.

posted with permission by student!

Streetstyle Photographer J'adore...

J'adore French photographer/journalist/illustrator Garance Dore! Do you think this look would attract the streetstyle photographers?!

"Ode to Bruce!" Dressed up in 80's garb for an 80's party with friends in the 'Shwa!

mercy

Kensington Market, Toronto, May 2009

"The quality of mercy is not strained;
It droppeth, as the gentle rain from heaven
Upon the place beneath: it is twice blessed;
It blesseth him that gives, and him that takes:
'Tis mightiest in the mightiest: it becomes
The throned monarch better than his crown;
His sceptre shows the force of temporal power,
The attribute to awe and majesty,
Wherein doth sit the dread and fear of kings,
But mercy is above this sceptred sway;
It is enthroned in the hearts of kings.
It is an attribute to God himself;
And earthly power doth then shew likest God's
When mercy seasons justice."
-SHAKESPEARE

Chocolate Milkshakes

"Happiness" on Mary Lake

Today, one of my students in grade 5 said the following to me when he heard I was going to McDonald's for lunch:

" Miss W, are you going to McDonald's for your birthday too? You should go to Kelsey's and get a chocolate milkshake. It is like... TASTING HAPPINESS!"

Guess where I am headed tonight?!

Fruit Salad

As I was about to put a spoonful of delicious fruit salad into my mouth, I heard this soft chanting behind me. I was in our staff kitchen helping the students in the spec. ed. class make fruit salad. Two of the boys who have autism (one of the boys I wrote about here) were finished their duties and sitting on one of the green leather staff sofas. As I turned around, I saw these boys peeking above the back of the sofa smiling mischievously and chanting my name over and over again. The comical part about this teasing was the accent coming out of the mouth of one of the boys. He has a Canadian accent but was chanting in his parent's native tongue! I had to turn away and laugh! It was the cutest thing. The teacher then piped in and told the boys, " we do not tease in our class, so please stop!" Immediately the boys said to me, "I'm sorry 'Kawwwin'!" I'm just thankful they didn't swear at me! I LOVE that these autistic boys have a sense of humour. This "incident" made my whole day! Must have been something in the fruit salad!

We can learn so much about life through students with special needs. I am grateful they are a part of our planet. It is my desire the world will come to value these precious ones more fully. It is a honour for me to work with these children on a daily basis. My life is richer.

here i go again...

Eye of Belfast, July 2008, Northern Ireland

expectations
misplaced expectations
send me in a tailspin
round and round.

steady now
i want to get off.

i am choosing to let go
of these misplaced expectations.
it is only hurting me, not the one
whom these misplaced expectations
are directed towards.

grief.
that is what i feel
and
embarrassment
for thinking
we were kindred spirits
all these years.

change.
change and
expect nothing in return.
send my bitterness, hurt and grief
in a tailspin.
in a tailspin to the abyss.
leave it there.
leave it there forever.

hope.
i hope i can look at
this friendship
in a new light.
i hope we can take a ride together
someday
round and round
and see the world and
our friendship
in a new light.

here i go again...