Times Square, NYC, August 26, 2009...NO!
I tried the online dating scene a few years ago with no success. In fact, I have crazy stories about the "blind dates" I went on as a result. I swore myself off the online dating scene, or so I thought! At this stage in my single journey it is difficult to meet single guys so online dating is a viable option, or so I thought! I know it has worked for some people, which is wonderful, but it is proving to be more of a heartache/headache for me!
I broke down this week while off on March Break. A Christian online dating service sent me an email with free time so I thought, "what have I got to lose!" I have to admit at first it is addicting, but then it becomes a bit boring until....
...until that moment you meet a great guy, or so you think! I am pretty cautious and thought I was good at weeding out the crazy ones! This guy and I seemed to have this great connection. I thought things were going well!
Sexual purity is something that I hold in high esteem. Although my beliefs have shifted a little as of late. It seems there are many "christian" guys out there who don't hold the same beliefs which is surprising to me. This was the first time a "christian" guy basically told me he had an issue with my beliefs and held it against me.
To be transparent, I have done alot of soul searching because of this journey. I was extremely hurt and shaken. It has left me a bit disillusioned and questioning everything I have stood for, which is what I believe God wants for our/my lives/life. Not to mention the fact that I feel utterly and completely embarrassed. It has also left me wondering if I will ever find a guy who will get me for me (and I him)!
I am grateful for friends who keep me accountable and grateful for my God-given ability to discern and exert self control. Sure I have moments of weakness like anyone else, but I had enough sense to let this guy go. He is not worthy of me!
Online dating opens you up for rejection, in an interesting sort of way. It's hard to explain unless you've been there! I don't want to put myself through this again so I hope I will say good-bye to online dating forever!
One day very soon, I have to believe, you will be reading about an upcoming wedding on this blog!
***FYI: I love my single life. I have a great life. I have been able to do so many amazing things in my lifetime. I am blessed. I don't hold back because I am single. But I want to be married one day and share the rest of my life with that special someone. I want a family. I know the "grass is always greener on the other side," however God didn't intend for us to be alone! I just wanted to clarify! ***
4 comments:
Glad you let this one go. He is not worthy of you. God does intend for us to save ourselves for marriage - even when marriage seems to elude us. There is no more special gift you can give your husband then yourself, the self that nobody else on this entire earth has been with. It's tough at times for sure but you're worth it!
A wonderful friend once told me, 'The best thing about being single is you get the whole bed to yourself! The worst thing about being single? You get the whole bed to yourself!!'
Heh...so true!
Thanks for your encouragement Catherine! It means alot and a great reminder! LOVE the quote too!
I think you are fabulous and yes, someone will love you for being YOU. Honestly I thought I would never get married and I can't believe I am now engaged. I know from my blog, it seems like I have a picture perfect life but it has been a rough journey. Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that I know where you are coming from and I think you have a great attitude. xx L
@sealaura, thanks so much for your beautiful, kind words! you are too sweet! and thanks for your encouragement...all the best on your upcoming wedding!
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