Simple Surprises

I LOVE surprises.
I LOVE it when God surprises me. Actually, I shouldn't be surprised that God surprises me. After all, King David wrote song after song about God's wonderment during his seasons of despair and seasons of joy.

"God is magnificent; He can never be praised enough. There are no boundaries to His greatness. Generation after generation stand in awe of your work; each one tells stories of your mighty acts. Your beauty and splendor have everyone talking; I compose songs on your wonders. Your marvelous doings are headline news; I could write a book full of the details of your greatness.God always does what He says, and is gracious in everything He does. God gives a hand to those down on their luck, gives a fresh start to those ready to quit.God's there, listening for all who pray, for all who pray and mean it. He does what's best for those who fear him-hears them call out, and saves them. God sticks by all who love Him, but it's all over for those who don't. My mouth is filled with God's praise. Let everything living bless Him, bless His holy name from now to eternity!" (Psalm 145 The Message. Thanks goes out to a new visitor to my blog, Courtney, who sent me this Psalm as an encouragement for me. Thanks Courtney!)

I LOVE it when God surprises me when I'm not looking! Simple surprises with compelling lessons leaving me changed in a significant way.

Today, I was once again flabbergasted by a question that flowed out of the braces-filled mouth of another 13 year old student of mine. Once again, I was in the school library with the same group of grade 8 students working on a math project.
Out of the blue, K. stared at me and inquired in a consoling tone,

" Miss W., can I ask you something? I don't mean to sound mean. Why aren't you married?"
Sighing, I said, " I don't know."
K. continued, " I don' t understand because you are nice and beautiful!"

Once again, isn't that just the sweetest thing ever! I love my job! Perfect timing I might add. My lady friends out there will understand my "time of the month" musings, " I feel sooo fat and feel sooo ugly. My boobs are sagging. What is gravity doing to me?!" (and the list could go on and on!) Just this morning I flippantly prayed- -well it was not really a prayer, it was just me talking to myself on my way to work-- that I just want a male companion to tell me I'm beautiful!!! I love that God sent this 13 year old boy to cheer me up!! What an encouragement today.
Simple surprises!

I also want to thank you my friends for your words of encouragement this week regarding my last post. Your kindness, love and empathy mean more to me than I can ever express. Thank you for letting me be me and expressing the deepest part of who I am. Thank you for not judging me. Thank you! I am doing much better. I am trying to embrace my hormonal changes!! hehehehe!
May I leave you with another Celtic prayer but this one is a Celtic evening prayer:

"I lay me down in the love of my Father.
I surrender my body to rest in the love of my Saviour.
I trust my life in sleep to the Spirit who fills me with life."

"fly" on the wall

(Fall rain. September 2009. Brooklin, ON)

i am in a melancholy mood tonight. i'm not used to this prolonged emotion. it is tugging, twisting, trying perilously to defeat my normal positive self. embrangling, impeding my energy to reach out. it is amplifying apathy in my spirit. i'm just trying to survive daily life. it is scaring me. is it the hormonal changes taking place in my body in this stage of my life? most likely. is it due to the stress i'm under dealing with my mom's illness? most likely. i'm trying to be strong especially for my dad. we feel helpless. in addition, my body is aching again for a child. my soul is fighting the intense loneliness and desire for a companion. i am in a battle with my spiritual self. my prayers are feeble. i'm at a loss at what to say to God because i am angry with Him, but i know i need to keep on praying. i may look fine on the outside but this turmoil is taking its toll. i know i am also "pms-ing," which can greatly magnify the situation. oh how i love being a woman (said in a sarcastic tone)! one thing can upset us and next thing we know our entire world is shaken and ready to fall apart! but that is how God created us and how we are meant to share space on this earth with our fellow man! i will embrace it. i know my melancholy will turn to "joy in the morning." i already feel relief. Cheers!

Strange Conversations to avoid a2+b2=c2

Colourful Chairs, Times Square, New York City, August 2009

Come have a seat. Sit with me for awhile. Let me spin you some yarns about the spiritual conversations I have been having all week with some of my students.

Their questions and comments come at seemingly inopportune times which is a mystery to me. Although one theory I have is they are trying to sabotage their struggle with the Phythagorem Theorem and other algebraic equations for lessons of faith. Why they wouldn't want to do their math when I make it so interesting for them is another mystery to me!! hehehe! I sing jingles, add actions and bribe with candy in order to help them understand the mysteries of math! Oh but I digress again.

Why they approach me and not other staff with their deep faith questions is beyond me. I do have a theory... "This little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine..." :)

I want to make it clear I am in NO way proselytizing! I am VERY careful in my profession. These students are the initiators. I wisely answer their philosophical questions to the best of my ability at the appropriate time. I make it clear these are MY opinions and try to encourage them to have these discussions with their parents! I do try desperately to re-focus their attention to the task at hand. But the conversation always comes back around until I take a brief moment and let them get it out of their system. Then we can move on. I count it a privilege these inquisitive students trust me enough to want my opinion on such profound matters regarding the meaning of life.

So, are you curious what these young, impressionable minds are asking?

"Miss W., who created the world?"
As I was heading down to the library to work on math with three students in grade 8, I overheard them debating creation versus evolution. One of the students is a Hindu, one is a Christian and the other is nothing specific. Two of them were trying to convince this Hindu that God created the world. I LOVE the innocence of youth. I LOVE their honesty today. I LOVE how they just tell it like it is in their black and white world.

"Miss W., do you think God has a brother or a sister? Who do you think Jesus is?"
I arrived in the grade 5 classroom as the teacher was giving her lesson in geometry. I sat down beside the student I work with and immediately these questions randomly flowed out of his mouth. He is a Muslim boy and has a form of autism called Asperger's. So, his voice is booming loud and he has no understanding of the social cues of the classroom! Once again I tried to re-direct him to continue listening to the teacher's lesson. However, he persisted and could not focus until I answered his questions. It was kind of comical because I was basically trying to explain the Trinity to this Muslim boy in two seconds or less when I realized I was confusing him more! At recess, he asked me some more questions and I answered to the best of my ability. I asked him what he believed. I am learning more about the Muslim faith through my students. Interestingly, we do share similar moral beliefs, like abstaining from alcohol, abstinence, filtering our music and movie watching, etc.

"A., are you a Christian like Miss W.?"
The boy that asked our lunch room supervisor this question has autism. I have no idea how he knew I was a christian. I haven't even worked in his special ed. classroom thus I rarely have any conversations with this boy. Well except for telling him the type of car I drive! He has an impeccable memory and is fascinated by vehicles! I am still baffled by his question! Maybe he overheard me talk about my weekend and possibly I may have mentioned I went to church on Sunday. I don't remember. Whatever it is, this boy believes -accurately I might add- that I am a christian. And that is important to him.

"Miss W., what kind of genius puts a letter in a math equation?"
The best comment ever said to me! While taking this grade 8 student down to the library to work on her algebra ( 2x+1 =2; An example for those of you who forget grade 8 algebra!!) she blurts this comment out in all seriousness. I nearly fell on the floor laughing! She has a good point though!

Later on that morning, this same student and another boy were discussing how old they would be when they graduated from university as doctors. "D" looked over at me and affirmed,
"Miss W., you will be REAL old when I graduate. I can be your doctor!"

"T" pipes up and pronounces in a tender voice,
"Miss W., I'm sure when I'm married my wife won't mind you coming to live with us in your old age and we will take care of you!"
Isn't that just the sweetest thing ever! This boy comes from a rough background. His mother is a drug addict. His oldest half brother is in jail. He and his siblings live with their dad now. It is a good thing. They come disheveled to school everyday but they work hard and are sweet. I just may take this boy up on his offer!

"Miss W., are you a virgin?"
Okay that is not a deep, dark philosophical question but I had to throw it in - yes, I was asked this question out of the blue during math once again! My response, "get back to your work!!!"

I wonder what will transpire this week at school! I can't wait!

"This little Light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine. This little Light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine, let it shine, let it shine, let it shine."

Jesus says, "You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven." ( Matthew 5:14-16, NIV)

A Hug a Day keeps the Doctor Away!

***update below***

Check out this story over at Alastir Appleton's blog. (Alastir used to be the host of the British series, "Escape to the Country.") I was actually touched by his story about a woman called Amma. I have never heard of her before, but I suspect she is very familiar in the Buddhist circles. Looking past our vast differences in theological views, I do think this woman is truly amazing for giving this simple but profound gift to people. Thousands and thousands of people line up just to be hugged. Why do you think that is?

Have you ever been hugged so snugly you don't want to ever let go? I have needed those hugs on many occasions and am grateful to those friends who extended them to me. I wonder how different our world would be if we graciously extended snug hugs to every person we encountered? Just some thoughts to ponder!

*** On the last day of school before Christmas vacation (Dec 18, 2009), I received more hugs from my students than ever before. They initiated it! It was GREAT and I had no problem hugging them back. A profound gift!***

Where was I?

Where was I when the genocide in Rwanda was annihilating innocent lives?

I have been reading, "Left to Tell: Discovering God Amidst the Rwandan Holocaust," by Immaculee Ilibagiza this afternoon and this poignant question kept entering my thoughts.

I was living in Alberta at the time and barely recall any news reports about these atrocities taking place in Rwanda. I don't even recall praying for the people of Rwanda at church. How did I ignorantly disregard what was happening to my fellow human beings overseas? How did I miss this? What could I have done? As tears stream down my face, I wonder how weeping for the victims and survivors of this holocaust will help them now.

I am still processing all that I have read in this incredible book. I am utterly speechless at the courage and strength of this woman, Immaculee. I am amazed at her ability to cling to Jesus and extend grace and forgiveness amidst the horrific events she endured, witnessed and heard. Her faith in God is a miracle and an astounding example for mankind.

Where was I?

Four Teenagers, Three Adults and New York City!

What do you get when you mix four teenagers with three adults on a summer road trip to New York City?
CRAZY fun with a bit of crankiness mixed in and lessons in " it's not about me!" When all was said and done, it was a privilege to travel with my "kindred spirits" and their daughters. It was an adventure I will always remember. I wanted to share it with you my bloggy friends, so to see my photo album and the rest of the story, click here. Enjoy!

Birthday Bash

Our disparate worlds converged back in 2006 and a unique friendship was birthed out of that union. Who would have guessed? Not I!

At first, he irritated me. Yet at the same time, I was also deeply intrigued by this eccentric barista. Remember my adventure with him here? It is hard to believe almost 3 years later I consider Anthony my friend!

I have a confession to make. I did something a little CRAZY on my birthday, which ironically enough fell on Labour Day this year! It also happened to be the first annual Brasilian Day in Toronto to celebrate Brasil’s Independence Day! My soul sista S. and I decided to join the festivities as part of my birthday bash!

Oh where was I? Oh yes, let me back-track a little for you...

Anthony thinks I look like the actress, Jamie Lee Curits and I think he looks like a cross between Elton John and the actor, Philip Seymour Hoffman. Every time I dine at Richtree Marche (the restaurant where Anthony works) he always tells me, "you need to come dressed in fish- net stockings like Jamie in "True Lies! You would look hot!"
Thanks Anthony! (I couldn't wait to tell Anthony that a man stopped me on the street in New York City back in August and said, "hey beautiful Jamie Lee Curtis!")

So when I showed up on my birthday without the fish-net stockings I was worried Anthony would be disappointed. On the contrary, he was VERY excited to see me, according to my sista S! You see I am convinced he is "batting for the other side" ( is that even an idiom?!) Not that I care, but I just don't think he is into me at all! At one point I had to use the washroom and left the watchful eye of Anthony. S. told me the entire time I was gone he kept asking her where I was and wondered when I was coming back. Apparently, S. told him it was my birthday and he asked to have his picture taken with me!!

Take 1: Say Cheese!
Take 2: Anthony didn't like his pic in the first take so we had to say cheese again!



To appease Anthony, after S. and I finished our meal, we decided to grab our dessert and go over to his barista kiosk and order one of Anthony's famous coffee creations. While sitting enjoying our tasteful dessert and pleasant conversation, Anthony left. I figured he was now on break and would come join S. and I at the bar. I couldn't have been farther from the truth. He left! Vamoose! We have no idea where Anthony went. I was disappointed, so S. encouraged me to write my name and email address on a napkin and leave it for him. I "hymned and hawed" for a brief moment then made the decision to go for it! Why not. It was my birthday! "Live in the moment" is my motto after all! So I discretely placed the napkin in front of Anthony's fancy coffee machine - where I was CERTAIN he would find it.

I never received that email from Anthony. My suspicion is the napkin got thrown out by the manager that relieved Anthony for break. Or it could be as simple as, "he is just not that into me!" Whatever the case, I know I will continue to have many more adventures at Richtree Marche with my eccentric, barista friend!

The Brasilian Day festivities at Yonge and Dundas Square ...
Here I am armed with my Brasilian Portuguese phrase book, wearing the Brasilian colours...
S. and I dancing the Samba with the crowds of Brasilians!