what are the tears for?

All of a sudden, seemingly out of no where, salty, warm, comforting tears began to stream down my cheek. My stomach muscles were contracting at the same time, pushing the soft sobs in an upward motion out through my vocal chords to the still night air inside my old Buick Century. I was stopped at a red light. I was aware of the stares from the handsome man inside the rather large Dodge Ram truck stopped beside my car. I didn't care. I let the sobs come freely and with force. They didn't stop when the light turned green. In fact, they continued for a long while. "Why?," I pondered.

Just moments before I had attended my first book reading/interview at our local library by my new favourite Canadian author, Susanna Kearsley, whom I wrote about here.
I walked away in awe of this incredible woman. Not only is she a gifted writer, but a gifted storyteller as well. I could have listened to her all evening. I didn't want the night to end. Something in my spirit from conversing with Susanna made me react in my car. Maybe the email I wrote to her will further explain:

Dear Susanna,

I just returned home form a lovely evening listening to you speak at the Whitby Public Library. In addition to being a gifted writer, you are an incredibly gifted storyteller. I could have sat and listened to you all night "spin your yarns!" There is something in my spirit that adores hearing about other people's adventures.

I was also grateful to hear how your life has shaped your novels. For me, it was like putting the final piece of the puzzle together.... Anyways, while driving home along Brock Street north, I found myself sobbing uncontrollably while processing all I learned from you tonight. I am still not totally sure why I responded in this way to your amazing talk. But, I do know it sparked that creative spirit in me which has been lying dormant for way too long.

Something about this evening made me feel alive and excited again. I connected to something. I connected to you not just because we share similar interests but because you have this special gift of bringing to life for us the reader, the stories that are alive in you. You have a special gift of allowing us to enter your world. You have a gift for retelling history. Thank you. We connect to your characters on so many different levels. I love how you care so deeply for your characters. It is so natural. I love how you are so humble and down-to-earth. Thank you.

I am still processing all I heard tonight and still processing why I cried. I do have creative outlets, one of which is my blog, non-fiction mind you. But I need to be more proactive at regularly accessing my creativity. There is so much in me that needs to get out! I think that is one of the things I took home from tonight: the creative energy in me brings me so much joy and fulfillment and so often it is squashed and suppressed. I need to not allow that to happen!

Anyways, I am rambling now. My whole point in this long email is to just simply say thank you for showing up tonight at the reading ( I did find it interesting you arrived in a taxi)! And thank you for sharing your gift with the world. My life is richer form reading your novels! All the best. I can't wait to finish, "The Shadowy Horses!"
Have a great day,

K.

Susanna Kearsley being interviewed at the reading of her novel, "The Shadowy Horses."

PS I just discovered Susanna is a cousin to childhood friends of mine. She married into the family! Her late father-in-law worked with my father. What a small world! I'm definitely going to the family picnic! hehehe!