visit with shave

A gentle, humid breeze was blowing through the open window when I quietly walked into her room where she lay sleeping. Peaceful. Beautiful. I stood at the base of her bed and just watched her for a few moments. Quiet, except for the low hum of the fan blowing on her face. I didn't want to wake her. Not yet. My mind took me back in time when I had my first sleepover with Shave here. We were vivacious, innocent teenagers ready to tackle the world. I loved coming to this house here in the country.

The drive up today was glorious. A crisp Wedgwood blue sky, with cotton-ball clouds greeted me. I could feel myself relaxing the further north I drove. Beautiful countryside. Untouched. Old, dilapidated wooden barns with their stone foundations dot the landscape. Rural Ontario. I love it!

As I drove onto the causeway and crossed the lake, I began to feel nervous. Finally Shave and I were connecting. I didn't know what to expect. There was so much I wanted to say. I rehearsed it over in my mind. As I rounded the last corner before reaching her parent's house, I took a deep breath of the fresh country air. Shave's childhood home stood on the corner. The swimming pool is gone, the trees are taller and fuller, but the same sweet energy permeates from the property.

I didn't want to wake her. She needed to sleep. But I longed to just hold her in this space. To affirm all is well. To support. To love. Just a few more moments.

I saw the scarf. It was covering what I was afraid to see. Why do we fear losing that which seems so superficial. Why is it a traumatic event losing one's hair. My sweet Shave looked beautiful in spite of this loss. Her glow was undeniable as she stirred and turned toward me. I was greeted by her famous smile and laugh- oh can she laugh! My fears immediately ceased. I knew she was my same sweet Shave. All would be well. Shave told me later she had been dreaming about me and totally knew I was in the room even though she didn't hear me enter. Unique friends are we!

I crawled into bed beside my sweet Shave because she was in too much pain to get up. We hugged for a long time. Our hug was full of hope, promise and colour! No need for words. I love that about our friendship. We "get" each other.

Later, she let me see her beautiful, bald head and I didn't even freak out! All is well. Faith is intact. Faith is strengthened. Emmanuel!

April 2010- taken from my mobile phone while driving home from work