confessions of an internet date-er

"If I am not worth the wooing, I am surely not worth the winning"

(Henry Wadsworth Longfellow)

I haven’t been diligent in keeping you, my faithful readers, informed of the other part of my single life - dating. Why? No particular reason apart from it being non –existent! Although I must admit I haven’t been actively pursuing anything even though inwardly it is a desire of mine. Where does one start when you are 40-ish? It is tougher at this stage in life to find appropriate venues where you can meet up with single men.

Evidently my parents have taken it upon themselves to search out one such venue. About a year ago, they called to inform me they read an ad in the local paper about a singles event in my area. My mom said to me, “darling, I have this mother’s intuition that you should attend this event.” Why not? I’d give it a try. After all, has it not been said we should always always listen to our mothers?

Even though I am a gregarious person, I was nervous as I entered the building that cold winter’s night. Having never been to a singles event, I had no idea what to expect. I did know I would enjoy the country line dancing the ad promised. As the room filled with eager participants, I noticed the absence of one gender. Let’s just say the odds were not in my favour! In fact, out of the 40 people in attendance, 5 were male. Two of those males were over the age of 80, and two were special needs. (Seriously. I am not exaggerating for the purpose of creative license!) Like I said, the odds were not in my favour. However, I did make the best of the situation and thoroughly enjoyed my evening of line dancing! Needless to say, I will never darken the door of one of these local single events again. Nor will I listen to my mother’s intuitive side again!

“What about internet dating?” a friend quipped. Hesitantly and cautiously I created a profile on this free “Christian” internet dating site. Over the last couple of years I dabbled here and there with not much success. I seem to attract the strange ones and end up in interesting situations. I will have to share another time about my “date” with this guy from Boston, Massachusetts. We met half way in Montreal, Quebec, both with friends in tow. He told me he was a scientist for Ben & Jerry’s ice cream. I was thrilled at the prospect of potentially getting free ice cream for life! I had visions of helping him create new flavours. Apparently, he lied about his profession. In actuality he was a receptionist - for another dairy company that didn’t even make ice cream. Goodbye "Chunky Monkey."

I was a tad bit disillusioned with internet dating vowing never to try it again. Well...

never say never…

The other day I “bit the bullet” and went back on this Christian internet dating site. I simplified my profile:

SWF looking for SWM who breathes.

A chiropodist responded. Yes, I did have to google “chiropodist” to make sure I knew it was a foot doctor I would be meeting for coffee on Sunday afternoon at Starbucks/Chapters rather than a vertebral subluxation specialist! We have barely exchanged two words so I have no idea how this will turn out. I am actually nervous. I wonder if he will want to examine my feet. Do you think he will mind that I have hammer toes, corns and chipped nail polish? Wish me luck. Any advice is always welcome!