Acquiring Wisdom at a Funeral

"You learn more at a funeral than at a feast - After all, that's where we'll end up. We might discover something from it."

(Ecclesiastes 7:2 The Message)

(Pere Lachaise Cemetery, Paris, March 2007)

Gazing around at the congregation seated for Doug's funeral, I noticed something unique. Multi-generations were gathered together to celebrate the life of this 82-year old man. Even though Doug was in the generation ahead of mine, my friends and I came to bid farewell to one of the "spiritual giants" who influenced our lives.

My church community is like family to me, so I grieve the loss of these dear souls like Doug, who came alongside me when I was just a tiny baby and helped nurture my spiritual life in a bevy of ways. I am grateful. I am blessed. I am sad to say goodbye. But, this is part of life and as the Quester says, it's where we all end up.

It was a lovely funeral - which seems like an oxymoron- where I did glean from the age-old "wisdom" of the elders in my life.

I learned ...

my dad wants his ashes to be put in a Tim Hortons coffee tin,

and he wants my mom's ashes put in her famous fudge pan,

Okay, maybe that is not a tidbit of wisdom but, I learned the "age -ed" lose their inhibitions but keep their sense of humour! Maybe that is one secret for staying young!

I learned...

that people survive the grief and in most cases are doing just fine.

I learned...

I do not need to fear being left alone because I belong to a wonderful church community that comes alongside and helps those in need. In addition, I have an incredible circle of friends and extended family that will make sure I am looked after! I love the strength in community. I learned I cannot forget the bounty in my life. I learned I must never forget that God is with me and will never leave me alone. I am thankful.

I learned...

it is important to listen to the stories told by the elderly. I learned you may discover something new about your world! I heard a familiar story, but from the perspective of a third party, which provided a new piece of information about my life. I was 10-months old when my mom, along with her parents took their first trip back to Northern Ireland since they immigrated to Canada. My mom says she was torn leaving me home with my dad but needed to take this final trip with her aging parents before they died. ( My Grandpa died 2 years later)

This lady at the funeral began to share with me how she remembers my dad bringing me to church all by himself. She remembers being impressed with how great he was with such a small baby. Remember that was back in the late 60's when the roles of men and women were very different! One thing I admire about my father is how he always equally shared the duties of the household! And, to this day he has an amazing gift with children!

I learned...

the secret to staying young is to never stop loving Jesus, continue to study scripture, surround yourself with young people, eat healthy, get enough sleep, exercise, always have something to do, and never lose your sense of humour.

A lovely funeral indeed. A "feast" of wisdom and memories.

I will miss you Doug, especially seeing you sitting on that bench just inside the doors of the church greeting us, hugging us, making us feel loved and cared for. Maranatha!