Tuesday, 1 September 2009

Lessons in Overcoming Fear

I can hardly believe today is September 1st. I began penning this post almost 3 weeks ago! As I sit on the edge waiting for the inauguration of a new school year, the opportunity to begin anew, I reflect back upon a glorious summer with gratefulness. Sure, there were things I wanted to do but somehow didn't get around to it, like blogging more. However, I thoroughly enjoyed my time off and have no regrets!

One of the highlights of my summer taught me an invaluable lesson about facing my fears and persevering until the task was completed, even when my entire being told me I was crazy and to abandon the mission!

The Mission: Complete "High Ropes Course" at Camp Mini-Yo-We where I volunteered in the kitchen for one week.



Camp Mini-Yo-We is situated on beautiful Mary Lake, Port Sydney, Ontario.
This is the view from the porch of the dining hall where we ate our meals.

The Task: Climb 30 feet up a tree, then walk across this suspended "burma loop" bridge which happens to cross over the road.
I was eager and excited to attempt this challenge. For a brief moment, I even thought I was a contestant on the TV show "The Amazing Race!" Well that was until...
...I got to the top of this ladder and realized I had to climb further up the tree. My heart was racing. My legs were shaking. After contemplating things for a moment, I decided I was crazy and wanted to end this task and climb down. But, my AMAZING guide Andy refused to allow me to climb down. His words of encouragement and words of specific step-by-step instructions sustained me the entire time. Fear is a perplexing emotion. It can discombobulate our minds. I knew I was completely safe with Andy as my belayer and knew I was safely harnessed. Yet somehow fear paralyzed me.
At this point, I had a choice to make: give into my fear or divide and conquer! I chose the latter and that made all the difference! ( a partial quote by Robert Frost!) I had also passed the point of no return so I had to move forward!


The second most difficult task ( the first was climbing the tree) was climbing onto this thin platform, sitting down and placing my foot on the loop in order to stand up. I could barely reach the loop with my leg when I sat down. I thought I had long legs. Apparently not! I TOTALLY felt like I was going to free fall onto the road, even though Andy reassured me he was supporting me. I had a bit of a panic attack when a van with an intensely loud muffler problem drove up and stopped to chat with my friends down below- well the van didn't, rather the person driving the van was chatting! I felt safer and ready to move on once the van was gone. I'm not sure why, but that is how the process worked for me! Trust is a befuddling emotion! Once I finally took that step of faith out onto the loops, everything else fell in place. Trust was continuing its work within me so I could move on to the next step in complete confidence, without fear.

Apparently, my comments through this entire process were hilarious. I was fiercely concentrating on the task at hand, but could hear some of the conversation on the ground. I knew they wanted to videotape my play-by-play dialogue. At this point I didn't care, I just wanted to make it across the suspended rope bridge alive! Speaking of conversation on the ground, I should mention how gratifying it was to hear the cheers of support and encouragement from my friends. Those shouts of approval played a huge role in helping me finish well! Incredible teamwork! Thanks guys!!



I FINALLY made it to this stage. YAY! Here I am walking confidently across the ropes. ( I did eventually have a smile on my face!) I was thinking to myself, "this is a 'piece of cake,' " until I got to the end, kissed the tree like Andy told me to do, then turned to see how he would bring me down...
...Andy confessed that he purposely forget to mention at the beginning of this journey how I would dismount so as to not scare me. Thanks Andy! Apparently, I had to complete a somersault in mid-air in order to disembark! A challenge in itself let me tell you! I have a video of my "elegant" descent, but was unable to post it here! So, here is a wee taste:
I DID IT!! It was an incredible feeling! I was soooo proud of my accomplishment. I was sooooo proud I didn't give up. My nature is one that relinquishes easily because I am immobilized by fear. I cannot believe I actually achieved this goal. I even have the remnants of the multitudinous bruises to show for my determination!

A HUMONGOUS thank you goes out to Andy, my belayer and guide. He was an unbelievably patient teacher. I am forever indebted to Andy for BELLOWING the following at stage one of this adventure, "No K. you are NOT coming down! NO! You can do this! Just keep on climbing one step at a time! I have your back! You will NOT fall! Trust me! "


Trust I did and that made all the difference! Learning to conquer fear in this manner empowered me to outstretch these invaluable lessons to every facet of my life.

"You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, 'I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.'
You must do the thing you think you cannot do. "
~ Eleanor Roosevelt

"So do not fear for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."
~ Isaiah 41:10

8 comments:

OldLady Of The Hills said...

CONGRATULATIONS on this incrdible feat! All I can say is WOW! That you did this and acomplished it is really fantastic!

Anonymous said...

Very thoughtfull post on overcoming fear .It should be very much helpfull.

Thanks,
Karim - Creating Power

sealaura said...

hola amiga! how are you? love these pics, you are so brave. I did a course like this in highschool and boy was it tough for me. I am still afraid of heights, something I need to work on. hope you are well.

swilek said...

@OOLOTH thanks...now i'm ready to tackle "The Amazing Race!!"

@ Karim..thanks for stopping by

@Sealaura i hope you are keeping well too...you'll have to come up to Toronto and climb the CN Tower, which is no longer the world's tallest free standing structure!!!!

@

Ande (Andy) the Belayer said...

Hey hey!

This blog was shown to me by another Mini-Yo-We staff member, and let me say, from the bottom of my heart, thank you! I remember belaying you up the Burma Loops, and you did a fantastic job. I can't tell you how flattered I am to read this- it really made my day.

Thanks again, and God bless!

-Ande (aka Murphy)

swilek said...

@ Andy...oh I am sooo glad you found me on here. Do you know what mini yo we staff referred you to my blog? I'm excited they are reading it! You are most welcome! It was a privilege let me tell you. Wow I can't believe you found me on here. I'm glad you didn't mind me writing about you!! How are things going for you? Still at uni? Hey everyone..meet my belayer Andy!!!:)

Ande the Belayer said...

Geoff, aka Columbus, sent this blog my way. How he found it is beyond me, but I'll ask him next time I see him. I'm just so glad that he did. Quite the blog you have here, very insightful!

Hope you have a very Merry Christmas, and enjoy your time off!

swilek said...

Thanks Ande, spelt like the Andes mountains!! how ironic:) glad you find my blog insightful...it's kind of been a meloncholoy fall so my posts aren't too exciting, just raw and honest! i'm not normally like this but it is the stress of my aging parents taking its toll. Anyways, merry christmas and happy new year to you too! God Bless, Karyne