Trust...is such a freeing word!

Letting go,

I surrendered my unbelief and fear to my God, my Father tonight.

It had crept into the crevices of my soul unsuspectingly.

It was hindering me from experiencing true freedom in Christ.

It was blocking me from allowing my God-given voice to bring honour to His name.

I feel release.

I feel peace.

I feel forgiven.

I feel loved.

Loved by my God, my Father.

Loved by my sweet friends who encouraged me with their words, prayers and chocolate!

(Thank you Carolyn, Carol and Mary B

And, I cannot forget my choir director, but I don't think he reads my blog!)

My heart is beginning to dance again.

What a journey I have been on this week leading up to Easter. I have the privilege of singing a small solo in the Easter musical at my church. Surprisingly, my nerves have been getting the better of me, which is usually not a problem. It has been a crazy emotional and spiritual battle. I could dialogue for a long while about why, but want to keep it short and simple.

I know there are more lessons to be learned from this journey. My heart has pure motives-most of the time( hehehe)-when I sing. It is always my prayer that people will see God. It is not about me. I am just the instrument that hopefully helps people draw closer to God. However, this nerve issue and the fact that I keep messing up the song I sing perfectly at home, has me focused on me, not God.

Alas, there is hope!

I am back on track!

All will be well.

I am praying for the angels to take over!

The words of a song I used to sing back in the 80's were brought to my attention again a few weeks ago on the wonderful blog of a friend from church, "Ponderings." (Thank you Joy for posting this song)! Smiling at the memories from that era, I casually dismissed the song. Yet, today God purposely placed that song back in my mind. The lyrics speak of the struggle I have been experiencing as of late. I leave them with you tonight.

I am trusting!

Storm over the north Atlantic, Portstewart, Northern Ireland, July 2008

Sometimes my little heart can't understand

What's in Your will, what's in Your plan.

So many times I'm tempted to ask You why,

But I can never forget it for long.

Lord, what You do could not be wrong.

So I believe You, even when I must cry.

Do I trust You, Lord?

Does the river flow?

Do I trust You, Lord?

Does the north wind blow?

You can see my heart,

You can read my mind,

And You got to know

That I would rather die

Than to lose my faith

In the One I love.

Do I trust You, Lord?

Do I trust You?

I know the answers, I've given them all.

But suddenly now, I feel so small.

Shaken down to the cavity in my soul.

I know the doctrine and theology,

But right now they don't, mean much to me.

This time there's only, one thing I've got to know.

Do I trust You, Lord?

Does the robin sing?

Do I trust You, Lord?

Does it rain in spring?

You can see my heart,

You can read my mind,

And You got to know

That I would rather die

Than to lose my faith

In the One I love.

Do I trust You, Lord?

Do I trust You?

I will trust You, Lord, when I don't know why.

I will trust You, Lord, till the day I die.

I will trust You, Lord, when I'm blind with pain!

You were God before, and You'll never change

I will trust You.

I will trust You.

I will trust You, Lord.

I will trust You.

Artist: Twila Paris

Copyright: 1984 Singspiration Music

PS I want to acknowledge a few more people tonight. Thank you Girl Found. It was while writing the response to your meme that I discovered the root cause of some of my heart issues! Thank you Old Old Lady of the Hills for inspiring me to have the cry that I have needed to have for so long!