Summertime Surrogate Motherhood

Lancaster, PA, August 2007 Amish child looking for mommy

"Children, do what your parents tell you. This is only right. 'Honour your father and mother' is the first commandment that has a promise attached to it, namely, 'so you will live well and have a long life.'" (Ephesians 6:1, The Message)

"Evie-Chevy." She hated us calling her that. I guess it was disrespectful as she was our elder, yet somehow the name suited her. Chevrolet's (Chevy) motto is "Let's Go" and that definitely described Evie-Chevy, a real go-getter. Her given name was Evelyn. She was a special lady in my life - a summertime surrogate mother.

Evelyn first came into our lives before I was born. Evelyn worked with my parents at Physicians Services Inc. ( now O.H.I.P) on Yonge Street in Toronto in the 50's, so they would socialize together outside of the office. In fact, they went on double dates together! As it goes with life, my parents lost touch with Evelyn when they moved out to the burbs. Twenty-five years later they reconnected at a christian resort in Muskoka. It turned out our families both had trailers at this resort: Muskoka Baptist Conference (MBC)!

I have fond summer memories of my time at MBC. When I was younger, Evelyn would look after me at the trailer while my parents were down in the city working. She always told me I was the daughter she never had. I felt special. My summer surrogate mother! Evelyn and her husband John treated me to many exciting adventures like horseback riding, an airplane ride over Muskoka, dinners at the Thursday night smorgasbord, hay rides, daily trips to the beach, campfires, etc. They had two sons a few years older than me, so when I got older, we would chum around together during the summers at MBC. Off season, our families would always spend Christmas together. Evelyn and John were a wonderful christian influence in my life.

Evelyn died three years ago. Evie-Chevy, the go-getter, succumbed to leukemia. No doubt she is "on the go" in heaven, relishing her time spent at the feet of Jesus, the true love of her life. Vividly, I recall a strong desire to visit Evelyn in the hospital on Labour Day, three years ago. I knew I had to see her that day and ended up changing my plans so it would be possible. We had a wonderful, special visit despite her pain. She was always so gracious and positive even in the midst of suffering. As I was leaving she said, " you know Karyne, you were always my girl!" I wept. As I walked out the door, I knew in my heart I would never see her again - here on earth.

The next day after my visit she went into a coma and never regained consciousness. Without a doubt in my mind, I know that tug I felt in my heart that day was from God.

Interestingly enough, Evelyn and John's oldest son Steve is now the music pastor at my church. He is married with three children and I had the privilege last week of camping out at their house to look after the kids while Steve and his wife went away for a few days to celebrate their 20th wedding anniversary. Evelyn would be proud of how her grandchildren have turned out. They are incredible kids. I was a wee bit nervous as to how the week would go-being a swinging single and all!

Quickly my nervousness turned into relief as these children made me feel right at home. I couldn't believe how polite they were and how well they got on with each other. They even said thank you to me for cooking their meals for them- sadly something I am not used to hearing from the pre-teen and teenagers I encounter. We enjoyed playing games in the evenings. I taught them Dutch Blitz, Scrabble and "Bite the Bag," while they taught me how to play Wii, " Water Poker," and how to make everlasting cards!

It was clear to me over the course of the week that these children "honour their mother and father." Steve and his wife have done a fabulous job of raising their children, through prayer and hard work no doubt! I am confident these kids will turn into responsible adults who will "live well and have a long life!"

I feel so blessed to have these opportunities to experience parenthood, if only but a fleeting moment! I love how life comes full circle. Evelyn, I will always be your girl and will carry on the tradition of summertime surrogate motherhood!