The Kronicles of my Krazy Escapades

My adventure to TIFF 2011 and The Ritz Carlton Hotel, Toronto

2011-10-10T10:41:00.002-05:00

One of the priviledges of living near a city that hosts one of the most prestigious film festivals every year is the opportunity to attend film premieres and see the celebrities in town for the event! This year, my friends and I decided to stay over in the city at one of the hotels where many celebrities nest their heads for the Toronto International Film Festival (TIFF 2011) Our adventure at The Ritz Carlton Hotel was one I will never forget! I have never stayed in a 5 star hotel so it was pure luxury. The service was immpeccible-well I hope so for the price we paid for our room during the Festival! George Clooney and Brad Pitt stayed at our hotel but we missed them by two days. We did however bump into Terrance Howard and a few local celebrities: Joe Mimran and his wife, Jake Gold and his wife, Colin & Justin. (Unfortunately I didn't get pics of the local celebs but chatted to them all except Coliln and Justin. They were lovely. I was actually wearing some of Joe's clothing line called "Joe Fresh!") The following pictures tell a bit of the story of our adventure that weekend in September! You'll have to excuse me as they are out of chronological order. I can't figure out this new blogger interface! (It wouldn't spell check from me either!) Also, some of the pics were taken with my cell phone so the quality isn't the best, especially the night shots. But, I know you will enjoy this pictorial diary nonetheless!

Ritz Carlton room treat price list on bamboo paper!

The view from my bed at the Ritz Carlton Toronto where I see the CN Tower, Skydome (now the Rogers Centre) and Centre Island all overlooking Lake Ontario!

The coolest gadget in the bathroom: the tv in the mirror!

Top quality service at the Ritz...they found out it was my birthday and the front staff personally signed this card along with a tray of freshly warm chocolate chip cookies delivered right to my hotel room. They even spelled my name correctly! Impressive!

Cool lights in the spa

Relaxing in the spa water room!

The spa co-ed relaxing room

The hotel pool

A mix of young and old downtown Toronto! Roy Thompson Hall is to the left of the pic

The Globe and Mail delivered to our door in the morning.

One of the hotel bars...this is the one where Brad Pitt and George Clooney had drinks out on the patio two days before our stay!

cool lights

another cool light fixture at the other hotel bar

Breakfast coffee! I loved this saucer because it was wider on the one side to house spoon, cream and sugar!

Chocolates left on our nightside table before we went to bed!

E Talk is an entertainment tv show. We were interviewed at the Red Carpet outside Roy Thompson Hall and broadcast to all the movie watchers inside!

The Red Carpet papparazzi interviewing the cast from "Winnie"

Another view of Lake Ontario from our hotel room with the Metro Convention Centre and base of the CN Tower in the foreground!

The hotel lobby

My friends who shared this adventure with me!

The front of our hotel, The Ritz Carlton, Toronto!

The plate of chocolate chip cookies delivered to our room for my birthday!

The front of the hotel

Enjoying appetizers fireside in the hotel bar!

Terrance Howard, star of the movie "Winnie" stayed at our hotel. (He also recently starred in Law & Order Los Angeles!) Here he is as I called out his name. He came over to have his pic taken with us even though they were waiting for him on the Red Carpet! You can also see my favourite door man to the left of the pic with the bowler hat. He was so friendly to us!

The offical TIFF vehicles that transport the celebrities to their movie premieres!

One of our lovely beds!

One thing I loved about the Ritz Toronto is they tried as best as they could to have a Canadian flare. Here are maple leaves embossed in the floor of the hotel lobby!

Here we are with Terrance Howard! He was soo nice and sooo gracious! Our bellman took the pic so that is why it is blurry!

Enjoying the fruits of our summer labour!

2011-09-03T14:01:00.005-05:00

As summer nears end, the dawn of a new school year slowly rises awakening a new beginning in me! One of the benefits of my job is the opportunity to start fresh every September. By June we are weary and ready for the end. But after a refreshing summer break we are ready for what awaits. It is always different and is always an adventure, not without some heartache though to keep us on our toes! Each September I make the decision to not get caught up in the politics of the year but to enjoy each day as it comes and to remember it is about the students not us! I know I will have to go into "the larder" at some point during the school year in order to remind myself of the "bounty" of the "summer" in my life, nourish my weary soul, then emerge refreshed once again! No doubt I will have some interesting yarns to tell. I am looking forward to the fruits of my labour! Happy Labour Day weekend everyone! Cheers to a good year! (I know my dill pickles are a good year!)

At the farm, picking the cucumbers for our dill pickles!

The preserving jars sterilized and ready to begin!

The finished product! Can't wait to taste them! I LOVE dill pickles!

Reaquainting us with manners...

2011-08-21T12:35:00.008-05:00

I recently read an article in The Toronto Star that caught my attention. On Saturday July 30, 2011 the headline stated, "They're actually just being nice. Seriously. New ad campaign encourages goodness everywhere." Then I saw their ads begin to appear on tv. Peopleforgood.ca is "an advertising campaign sweeping through Canada's largest cities, encouraging people to be good, do good and encourage goodness everywhere." It is a brilliant idea. Some of the print ads you will see around the cities on billboards are,

" Don't carry grudges. They weigh a ton."

"Give your fellow driver five fingers. Wave."

"Want to hear an uplifting story? A guy lets everyone get on the train before him. The end. The postscript: And then someone gives him a seat. And smiles."

The tv ads are even cooler! According to The Toronto Star and People For Good, there is no catch. They are "not out to sell you anything," its creators say. "The idea behind the 'social movement,' which lacks any recognizable branding, is to get people to donate a little generosity. What we're trying to do is encourage a change in behaviour, " says Mark Sherman and Zak Mroueh, the brains behind People For Good!

I love this ad campaign, yet got to thinking. Doesn't it tell us a great deal about the state of our society presently? How sad an ad campaign has to teach us about good old fashioned manners and how to treat people. Shouldn't that come from the home and from those of us who are Christians, living out the mandate Jesus set before us?

I encourage you to check out this website. It is pretty cool!

Keep reflecting God's love in this crazy world! In our society today love is conditional. It's a "what will you give me" attitude that has even crept into the church community. Do we really know what it means to love? Do I really know what it means to love? Am I extravagant in my love to my church community, to my family, to my friends, to my co-workers? I know I need to be more extravagant and unconditional in my love for others.

Ephesians 5:1ff says,

"Watch what God does and then you do it...Mostly what God does is love you. Keep company with Him and learn a life of love. Observe how Christ loved us. His love was not cautious but extravagant. He didn't love in order to get something from us but to give everything of himself to us. Love like that!" (The Message)

I want to be person for good.ca!

where will you be at the end of your life?

2011-08-04T08:53:00.025-05:00

My last words to her were, "don't give up, you still have a lot of life left in you to live." Obviously, this feisty, 92-year old family friend did not agree with me because she died two days later! I haven't really had time to process her death yet. I am sad because, in my opinion, it was a broken heart that killed her not the heart attack she had two days earlier.

During my visit with her on that sunny Sunday afternoon we had a nice chat. She seemed upbeat and well on her way to recovery. She spoke of hoping to go home in a few days but also told me she didn't want any surgery to repair the damage. She was a stubborn woman who quietly said to me she was tired of living this life and was ready to go.

Her deep sadness and mental exhaustion over her only child's behaviour as an alcoholic was too much for her to bare anymore. Watching this strong, smart, Austrian woman who overcame tremendous odds in her lifetime, give up made my heart ache. My family has been involved in helping this woman try to help her daughter over the years but to no avail. The daughter is a disaster. I am not being disrespectful but realistic because this daughter does not want to get help for her alcoholism. And there is nothing we can do for this 50-year old daughter until SHE wants to get well. She has caused so much pain for our 92-year old friend, especially in the last month. Witnessing their toxic relationship confirmed to me that I must never allow bitterness towards my family members or friends to fester and take hold because it will destroy my soul. I don't want to be at the end of my life, like our friend, and feel such sadness and deep hurt because I never made amends with those I maybe needed to over the course of my life. At the end of my life when I take my final breath, I want to be surrounded by those I love in a peaceful, fun, loving atmosphere. Not alone and feeling desolate, like our friend.

As I left the hospital that afternoon, I thought I would see her again so we could finish the game of Scrabble I promised to play! Well, I technically did see her on the following Tuesday but I knew she was about to take her last breath. I stood at her bedside and called her name. She opened one eye slightly and looked over at me then turned away and fell back asleep. The nurse subtly encouraged me to leave and speak to the family. Her daughter wasn't even there. Apparently the daughter was at the funeral home finalizing the arrangements. But her mom wasn't dead yet. In fact, the daughter wasn't even there when her mom took her last breath 2 hours after my brief visit. Our friend was all alone. To my knowledge, I don't even think she had faith in God to cling to. (She was a stubborn but smart atheist)! That makes me sorrowful on many levels.

Goodbye my sweet Juliane. I can only hope you are in a better place where your mourning has turned to joy!

As I contemplate this unfortunate death, I pray I will continue to allow love and not hate, bitterness or unforgiveness, to ooze out of me for the duration of my life. I pray people will see the true love of Jesus reflected in me! Contentment Peace = A Healthy Heart!

How will you live out your life?

pictorial update of my last 3 months

2011-07-31T12:36:00.013-05:00

My three month hiatus from blogging was not intential. I'm not sure why it happened but it did and I am finally back. I thought I would start out by giving a synopsis of my last three months in pictures! Without further adieu and in no particular order (because blogger messed up my order) here is my life...

Church Bridal Shower my friends and I hosted for the daughter of our mutual friend. The theme was a Parisian Fashion Show!

I enjoy walks along the Whitby Harbour in spring, summer and fall, which is on Lake Ontario. In the far distance you can sometimes glimpse New York State, USA on a clear day!

Morning sunrise just outside my apartment door taken with my mobile phone one morning on my way to work!

Explanation not needed!
Summertime BBQ, Beach Volleyball and Campfire with friends...
(Whitby Harbour again...misplace photo thanks to Blogger!)

Another misplaced photo...my campfire friends' son during his Cadet graduation!

Here I am at The Great Big Sea concert in Belleville...a fun outdoor summer concert! They are a fabulous Maritime (Newfie) Canadian Band. The lead singer, Alan Doyle starred with Russell Crowe in Robin Hood last year.
I volunteered, along with my choir buddies, for the Durham 1/4 Marathon which raises money for homeless youth and The Refuge.
I attended this cool coffeehouse in Toronto, where my voice teacher sang in one of the bands!
Back to the beach volleyball game! hehehe! Here I am with my good friend Lisa, the hostess of the evening!
Here I am at City TV's Viewer Appreciation Day with one of the hosts of Breakfast Television, Kevin Frankish at Yonge/Dundas Square, Toronto!
Here I am ready to play piano for my dad who was competing in "Senior Star", like American Idol for seniors! We were on tv that morning...Breakfast Television in fact!
Back to Viewer Appreciation Day...we toured the studio, so here I am pretending to be the weather girl!
On the Go Train home with my new sunglasses I won!
Here's my dad competing in "Senior Star!"
Old streetcar tracks in early morning Toronto...
Time to re-organize my accessory drawer- a summer project!
The cute notes my dad leaves by the coffee maker each morning!
We made it in the local paper too!

I love this reminder for one of our students with autism who pretends to pass gas all the time! Typical teenage boy! hehehe!
Springtime in Toronto...
My choir buddy and I with the same Converse shoes!
Springtime walks in the neighbourhood!
Springtime in Toronto again...reflection of buildings at Bay and Wellington, which is like the Canadian version of Wall Street! My grandparents first lived here when they immigrated from Northern Ireland in the early 30's. Obviously their house is no longer around!
In the washroom of Milestones Restaurant, Yonge Dundas Square!
In honour of the Royal Wedding, this china shop had a cool display!
Lobster dinner with my friend John at his church!

oops...The Old City Hall Gargoyles, Toronto

We received a thank you letter from Kate and Will's people ( Buckingham Palace) for the engagement card we sent them!
I dressed up at work in my fascinator for the Royal Wedding. We were up at 5am to see it!
My dinner in honour of the Royal Weddding Day!

More Lobster Dinner photos!

"It takes a village" lived out before my eyes...

2011-05-19T12:51:00.039-05:00

The image will forever be etched in my memory. It was beautiful, truly beautiful. A grieving mother standing before her family and friends at the funeral of her 28-year-old son who tragically took his life. Grieving friends, her husband and her other children standing with her literally supporting her fragile frame. A grieving young son, who is one of our students, embracing his mother completely with his head nestled in her bosom. As she spoke, tears flowed freely and honestly down her face. What I saw next is the memory I will never forget.

Our student, who is very mischievous at school, took the kleenex he was holding in his hand and gently wiped away his mother's tears. Tears are flowing down my face as I write this! The bond of love between this son and mother was so powerful it filled the entire room permeating deep into our souls.

This funeral was the most honest funeral I have been to. It was beautiful! They freely shared their pain with us about their son and why he took his own life. The Pastor spoke beautiful words of hope and not condemnation.

It was my first Jamaican funeral. Let me tell you, I loved every minute of it, which I know sounds strange in light of this tragedy! I truly saw lived out before my eyes the old Nigerian proverb, "It takes a village to raise a child." This funeral had a profound effect on me. I want to be part of this village. Actually, I AM part of this village! I loved the music! I loved how these people communicated between each other when they sang and loved how they communicated between each other when the pastor gave his message! There was no fear or inhibitions, yet they maintained a reverence that filled that room with peace. I LOVED how when they sang the final hymn, "Farther Along," they meant every word. It came from a deep place within them which stirred my heart to sing and stirred my body to move with the same gumption! I didn't care that tears were pouring down my face. I was part of this village now! I also knew without a doubt, our boy would be okay. His village would continue to take care of him.

I know when living in community, things are not always perfect, but this culture has something special my culture does not have. I think that is why I was profoundly affected by what I witnessed that day. Don't get me wrong, I have a wonderful supportive family, supportive church and wonderful supportive friends. It is just different and that is okay. But I just love how this culture truly believes and lives out the Nigerian proverb, "It takes a village to raise a child." I hope we can learn something from this wisdom! I feel honoured to have been privy to this beautiful funeral filled with hope and peace.

PS I tell my Caribbean students that I am part of their "village" now so they have to listen to me! They don't know I'm part black inside! Look out world!

PSS I was also excited to be privy to the Jamaican food after the funeral! Curried goat and jerk chicken were on the menu and I bravely ate every morsel!

I'm a sucker

2011-04-16T17:08:00.013-05:00

**Update July 31, 2011**
I found a display of the old packaging at Walmart. Now you understand why I was attracted to the new advertising campaign!

Shopping for feminine products is not only about personal taste but about wisely picking your preference. A wide assortment awaits on the store shelf, each enticing you to choose their product...overnight, regular, long, heavy, light, super absorbent, medium absorbent, light, super thin, super thick, Kotex, Stayfree, Always, OB, Tampax. The list goes on! I'm not sure if men understand that picking out feminine products is like picking out a new car. Well maybe not quite the same!

I have used the same brand for YEARS but decided I need a change. While browsing the aisle at my local supermarket, I was immediately drawn to this Kotex box! Kotex has changed its marketing strategy I see. They used to be geared to "older" ladies! I LOVED the colour and creative design leaping out at me from this box!

I couldn't wait to get home and see what was inside. This is what I found...

Funky design! Now the true test is yet to come. Do they work as well as my handy dandy, tried and true favourite feminine product? I'll keep you posted! I am a sucker for creative, colourful design! Hey, if this marketing strategy works to help make our monthly cycle more bearable then bring it on!

Online Dating. Is it for me....

2011-03-19T10:35:00.000-05:00

Times Square, NYC, August 26, 2009

...NO!

I tried the online dating scene a few years ago with no success. In fact, I have crazy stories about the "blind dates" I went on as a result. I swore myself off the online dating scene, or so I thought! At this stage in my single journey it is difficult to meet single guys so online dating is a viable option, or so I thought! I know it has worked for some people, which is wonderful, but it is proving to be more of a heartache/headache for me!

I broke down this week while off on March Break. A Christian online dating service sent me an email with free time so I thought, "what have I got to lose!" I have to admit at first it is addicting, but then it becomes a bit boring until....

...until that moment you meet a great guy, or so you think! I am pretty cautious and thought I was good at weeding out the crazy ones! This guy and I seemed to have this great connection. I thought things were going well!

Sexual purity is something that I hold in high esteem. Although my beliefs have shifted a little as of late. It seems there are many "christian" guys out there who don't hold the same beliefs which is surprising to me. This was the first time a "christian" guy basically told me he had an issue with my beliefs and held it against me.

To be transparent, I have done alot of soul searching because of this journey. I was extremely hurt and shaken. It has left me a bit disillusioned and questioning everything I have stood for, which is what I believe God wants for our/my lives/life. Not to mention the fact that I feel utterly and completely embarrassed. It has also left me wondering if I will ever find a guy who will get me for me (and I him)!

I am grateful for friends who keep me accountable and grateful for my God-given ability to discern and exert self control. Sure I have moments of weakness like anyone else, but I had enough sense to let this guy go. He is not worthy of me!

Online dating opens you up for rejection, in an interesting sort of way. It's hard to explain unless you've been there! I don't want to put myself through this again so I hope I will say good-bye to online dating forever!

One day very soon, I have to believe, you will be reading about an upcoming wedding on this blog!

***FYI: I love my single life. I have a great life. I have been able to do so many amazing things in my lifetime. I am blessed. I don't hold back because I am single. But I want to be married one day and share the rest of my life with that special someone. I want a family. I know the "grass is always greener on the other side," however God didn't intend for us to be alone! I just wanted to clarify! ***

How about this hairstyle ?

2011-03-15T14:32:00.003-05:00

I am enjoying my week long March Break thus far, but knew I needed to post these pics I took on my mobile phone the last school day before break. As I walked into this student's class that day I was immediately in awe of her new 'do!

I LOVE the creativity! It was even more funky and cool in person! Isn't it AWESOME! I wish I could do this with my hair! Enjoy your day.

posted with permission by student!

Streetstyle Photographer J'adore...

2011-03-04T20:38:00.006-05:00

J'adore French photographer/journalist/illustrator Garance Dore! Do you think this look would attract the streetstyle photographers?!

"Ode to Bruce!" Dressed up in 80's garb for an 80's party with friends in the 'Shwa!

mercy

2011-03-01T19:19:00.005-05:00

Kensington Market, Toronto, May 2009

"The quality of mercy is not strained;
It droppeth, as the gentle rain from heaven
Upon the place beneath: it is twice blessed;
It blesseth him that gives, and him that takes:
'Tis mightiest in the mightiest: it becomes
The throned monarch better than his crown;
His sceptre shows the force of temporal power,
The attribute to awe and majesty,
Wherein doth sit the dread and fear of kings,
But mercy is above this sceptred sway;
It is enthroned in the hearts of kings.
It is an attribute to God himself;
And earthly power doth then shew likest God's
When mercy seasons justice."
-SHAKESPEARE

Chocolate Milkshakes

2011-02-25T20:18:00.006-05:00

"Happiness" on Mary Lake

Today, one of my students in grade 5 said the following to me when he heard I was going to McDonald's for lunch:

" Miss W, are you going to McDonald's for your birthday too? You should go to Kelsey's and get a chocolate milkshake. It is like... TASTING HAPPINESS!"

Guess where I am headed tonight?!

Fruit Salad

2011-02-25T07:35:00.011-05:00

As I was about to put a spoonful of delicious fruit salad into my mouth, I heard this soft chanting behind me. I was in our staff kitchen helping the students in the spec. ed. class make fruit salad. Two of the boys who have autism (one of the boys I wrote about here) were finished their duties and sitting on one of the green leather staff sofas. As I turned around, I saw these boys peeking above the back of the sofa smiling mischievously and chanting my name over and over again. The comical part about this teasing was the accent coming out of the mouth of one of the boys. He has a Canadian accent but was chanting in his parent's native tongue! I had to turn away and laugh! It was the cutest thing. The teacher then piped in and told the boys, " we do not tease in our class, so please stop!" Immediately the boys said to me, "I'm sorry 'Kawwwin'!" I'm just thankful they didn't swear at me! I LOVE that these autistic boys have a sense of humour. This "incident" made my whole day! Must have been something in the fruit salad!

We can learn so much about life through students with special needs. I am grateful they are a part of our planet. It is my desire the world will come to value these precious ones more fully. It is a honour for me to work with these children on a daily basis. My life is richer.

here i go again...

2011-02-19T14:56:00.013-05:00

Eye of Belfast, July 2008, Northern Ireland

expectations
misplaced expectations
send me in a tailspin
round and round.

steady now
i want to get off.

i am choosing to let go
of these misplaced expectations.
it is only hurting me, not the one
whom these misplaced expectations
are directed towards.

grief.
that is what i feel
and
embarrassment
for thinking
we were kindred spirits
all these years.

change.
change and
expect nothing in return.
send my bitterness, hurt and grief
in a tailspin.
in a tailspin to the abyss.
leave it there.
leave it there forever.

hope.
i hope i can look at
this friendship
in a new light.
i hope we can take a ride together
someday
round and round
and see the world and
our friendship
in a new light.

here i go again...

my grocery shopping buddy

2011-02-12T11:00:00.002-05:00

February 2011, Heber Down Conservation Area

I was in shock when I entered her room. Her ashen body lay lifeless on the hospital bed. Frail. Faint. Two months ago this sharp, coherent, English woman was much more cognizant of her surroundings. What happened?

Every week for about 2 years I grocery shopped for Jean Fugol, a senior confined to her home. It may sound strange but I LOVE grocery shopping. So I eagerly anticipated this time each week where I would have a visit with Jean and then shop for her needs. Some weeks she was full of chatter and would share of her days gone by. I quickly learned Jean was a very wise woman and I enjoyed hearing of her life in England before immigrating to Canada.

Advice flowed eagerly and gently from her lips. I am thankful I was taught to revere the elderly at an early age. Those who have gone on before us are rich in knowledge and I welcome their life stories and advice. One thing Jean always said to me was, "enjoy your life now and travel before your body does not allow you anymore." I heeded her advice! She loved to hear of my travel adventures, especially to Paris! Jean also LOVED the way I dressed and told me she was living vicariously through me!

Jean had minor surgery in the summer and never fully recovered. I really don't know why. I think it was a combination of limited care in the hospital and the fact Jean just gave up on life. She told me her family rarely visited her, in fact, I think I visited her more than her family and my visits weren't as frequent as I wanted. This loneliness and rapid decline in her health was sad to watch.

So many elderly in nursing homes and hospitals are left alone by their family members. It is a shame. A shame that they who gave birth to their children, who sacrificed everything for their children, end up alone. A shame. A tragedy really.

Jean died last week. I know she is in a much better place now and I know this English woman is full of vibrant joy once again!

Jean, you'll be happy to know I'm planning another travel adventure soon! Rest in peace my friend. I love you and miss you!

For Jean...

Kensington Market, vintage shops, Toronto, ON, May 2009

:)

High School memories and the explosion of the Challenger Space Shuttle

2011-01-28T22:05:00.037-05:00

The "Catwalk," once a meeting place for students, now a "greenhouse."

Did time stand still? It was the same hustle and bustle back on January 28, 1986. Exam time. As I walked through those doors of my old high school and down that familiar hallway on my way to a workshop, students rushed past me with the same focused intent trying to get to their exams on time. A vivid memory came flooding back instantly to my mind. It was in this particular hallway behind the stage doors exactly 25 years ago while I was rushing to get to my grade 13 biology exam- on time- did I learn the news of the Challenger Space Shuttle. I could not believe it had exploded within seconds of take off. Millions of people were watching because it was the first time a civilian-a teacher- was on board. I haven't been in those classrooms for 25 years.

As I sat in my old English classroom for this workshop, I was transported back to my high school days. I LOVED high school so my memories of strolling those hallways and classrooms with my friends were good. It was a strange feeling for me sitting in the same desk where today my legs barely fit under the desk! Few changes have been made to RS McLaughlin C.V.I. since 1986. Still lingering are a few of my teachers who will retire at the end of the school year! The majority of my high school teachers were AMAZING and inspired me to excellence.

I noticed the science classrooms have been renovated and no longer have the desk/workstations with the bunson burner in the middle. I noticed the classroom where I learned how to type on the IBM electric typewriters is now a computer lab! The catwalk is no longer a place to sit but a makeshift greenhouse of sorts! The catwalk was an important part of our social times with friends in high school. How sad the students can no longer sit in the catwalk. The cafeteria has been repainted, however our "table" is still in the same spot! The original chalkboards with oak trim still hang in the classrooms. The classrooms now seem much smaller. An elevator has been installed. The old phone booth is now a storage closet.

The highlight for me was seeing the laminated posters of the school musical productions mounted on the wall of the hallway behind the stage. Every year I highly anticipated being involved in our school musicals. We had a blast. It was because of these productions I now adore the theatre!

I think time did stand still. At least for a moment anyways. I am grateful. My time in high school helped to shape me into the strong, confident, intelligent, loyal, honest woman I am today. Thank you teachers and staff at MCVI!

The infamous phone booth!

The following are the posters from the musical productions I sang and acted in...

war within

2011-01-23T16:00:00.004-05:00

***I came across this "work-in-progress" from November 2010 and decided to post it today. I also decided to not edit this piece and leave "as-is." Some thoughts to mull over!***

"Snow Angel" While walking the dog one cold January 2011 evening, I stumbled upon this freshly made snow angel, the design of a young child. I too LOVED making snow angels as a kid! Ahhh, the innocence of youth! I knew I wanted to capture this image, so thankfully I had my cell phone to take this pic.

i got into this power struggle with a student today, which is not a good thing (and which i normally never do). the class had a supply teacher so the students were taking some liberties - of course! thankfully i had the mind to get both myself and this student to step back and take a break. my principal happened to be visiting this classroom so i asked for his help. "how do i get out of this pickle i'm in!" i realized i reacted because i felt personally attacked - also not a good thing. never take anything personal when dealing with students. but somehow being in this environment takes me on a journey back into the memories of my years in junior high school, only with a clearer and wiser perspective. war of words. that is what this student and i were fighting about. this student is very good at manipulating words. semantics. it got me thinking of the war of sorts that goes on inside us, which eventually translates to unrest in our world. i got to thinking of northern ireland, the country of my ancestors, and its troubles. thinking of racism. generations that can stop it but don't. why do we continue raging our war within, which is reflected onto the community around us, when we speak of desiring peace in our world? what happened to the innocence of our youth?

"Turn from evil and do good; seek peace and pursue it." (Psalm 34:14)

"A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones." (Proverbs 14:30)

" For unto us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counsellor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace." (Isaiah 9:6)

"Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called sons of God." (Matthew 5:9)

"Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand." (Romans 5:1)

musings on a winter's day...

2011-01-15T19:27:00.008-05:00

(Whitby, ON After the storm!)

"Tomorrow is always fresh, with no mistakes in it."
- Anne Shirley

(January 2011, Keeping my feet toasty warm during a snowstorm, Whitby, ON.)

"Lo, sifted through the winds that blow,
Down comes the soft and silent snow,
White petals from the flowers that grow,
In the cold atmosphere."
- George W. Bungay

"The snow-drop,
Who in habit white and plain,
Comes on,
The herald of fair Flora's train."
-Charles Churchill

(Whitby, ON, Winter decorations in the courtyard of the public library.)

Lost in Translation

2011-01-03T06:00:00.018-05:00

I KNEW my year of learning high school German when I was in grade 10 was NOT a waste of my educational experience! I KNEW one day my proficiency in languages, or lack thereof quite honestly, would come in handy - even if it is 28 years later! (Oh my goodness. It can't be that long ago. Yikes!)

I agreed to house/dog/cat sit for my German friends over the holidays as they were trekking back to their motherland for Christmas. Prior to their trip, I enjoyed a lovely meal with the family to go over all the details I needed to know while they were away. These friends speak German at home to their children. So, I decided to try to have a conversation with their 4 year old son. It went something like this:

Me: " Mon -TOG, you travel to Deutschland?"
Son is staring blankly at me but grabs my hand and takes me into their kitchen to look at this:

A homemade advent calendar of sorts to track when they left for Germany.

I thought I would give it a go again...

Me: " So you leave Mon - TOG?"
Son: still staring blankly at me.
Me: "You know, Mon - TOG, Frees - TOG, etc.?"

I wish I had seen this calendar behind their door at this point in the conversation:

Me: "Mon - TOG you fly in a plane?"
Son, with a smile on his face indicating to me he understood my German, says in perfect English: "I have a dog!"

Lost in Translation! I better stick to speaking my native tongue!

I experienced a different kind of "lost in translation" adventure before Christmas with one of my grade 8 students. Our school was invited by our local Starbucks to come serenade the customers with Christmas carols. In addition, the customers had an opportunity to donate books to our school library. So we selected a small group of band and choir members to participate.

I drove my choir members to Starbucks on that snowy, wintry morning in my "Seniors" car, a 1999 custom Buick Century! I've always been a little embarrassed with my car but it is reliable and a comfortable ride. This car has an extra seat in the front so I can safely transport 5 people plus me! The students were quiet during our drive over and performed beautifully for the Starbucks crowd. The employees treated us to hot chocolate and treats after our performance, which was a lovely touch. A great time was had by all and we were pleased with all the books the customers donated for our library.

At the end of the week, one of the grade 8 choir members came up to me during morning recess and said,

"Miss W., I told my dad how AWESOME your car was to drive in. I told him you even have a COUCH in the back and front seats. But he said to me your car is really old. But I told him it was awesome anyways because I love the COUCHES!"

COUCH?! I laughed so hard after this student left! How adorable is that? Does this look like a couch to you...

...possibly! The world of teenagers, at times, is like being "lost in translation!"

Just another Manic 'Sunday'

2011-01-02T18:29:00.010-05:00

(Whitby,ON Entrance to the public library)

It's that manic time of year. Predictable. Yet its appearance seems totally unexpected, causing undo familial stress. We breathe through the pain as it will soon pass. AND we cling to the One who promised this:

"What does the Lord your God require of you? Only to walk in all His ways, to love Him, to serve the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul...for your own well being." (Deuteronomy 10:12-13) Continue on in the path, My son. It is a good path, and leads onward toward our mutual goal. Calm your fears, child. I am here and will be here always and all the way. Deo Gratias (Echoes of Eternity Volume 2, Hal M. Helms, 1996)

resolution

2010-12-31T15:14:00.009-05:00

"...I've had all I can take of your noisy ego-music.
When was the last time you sang to me?
Do you know what I want?
I want justice--oceans of it.
I want fairness--rivers of it.
That's what I want.
That's all I want..."
(Amos 5:18-20, The Message)

Dear God,
I resolve to sing to you, more than I have before, in 2011.
Love, Special "K"

My December Happenings...

2010-12-29T17:03:00.004-05:00

...FROM an 80's party, visit with best friends, walking in the 'hood, seeing famous celebrities at a taping of the "Battle of the Blades" tv show ( hockey players; Theo Fleury, Val Bure, etc., figure skaters; Jamie Sale, Katarina Gordeava, Shae Lynn Bourne, Kurt Browning, etc.' Ron McClean host), sleeping in my favourite plaid flannel sheets, singing jingles in our church's Christmas production set in the 1940's (I tried to put my hair in pincurls like they did in the '40's but it was a disaster!) , dog/cat/house sitting, walking the dog in the old Cullen Gardens and Minature village which is now overgrown but turned into a lovely park with some of the old pathways and buildings, taking some of my students Christmas carolling at the local Starbucks, Christmas shopping, eating yummy Christmas treats, TO spending time with family celebrating our Saviour's birth. I love December. Now on to embracing the rest of the winter! (click on photo collage to enlarge the pics)

it is enough

2010-11-21T22:04:00.043-05:00

"i cried unto the Lord with my voice,
and He heard me out of His Holy Hill,
i laid me down and slept and a waked,
for the lord sustained,
for he sustained me.
thou, oh Lord are a shield for me,
my glory and the lifter of my head."

(Click on the following link to hear this amazing song:
Brooklyn Tabernacle Choir, "Thou Oh Lord" )

it is enough
for this moment
it is enough
for tomorrow
it is enough
for the day after tomorrow

it is enough
for the angst of loneliness tonight
it is enough
for the persistent nagging voices that continue to cry "failure"
it is enough
to break through the pain of singleness
it is enough
to break through the ache and disappointment of not having children
it is enough
for trying to understand the drifting apart of a friendship
it is enough
for the career crossroads i am at wondering what i'm to do in the next chapter of my life
it is enough
for the myriad thoughts about life

He see my tears
it is enough
He hears my prayers
it is enough

His love is abundant
it is enough
His grace is abounding
it is enough
He is tender
it is enough
He is hope
it is enough
He is healer
it is enough
He is promise
it is enough
He is patient through my hormonal ramblings this evening
it is enough

He brings relief
it is enough
He brings peace
it is enough
it is enough
it is enough

it IS enough

"it is enough that Jesus died
and that He died for me."
(and you)
("My Faith Has Found a Resting Place," by Lidie H Edmunds, 1891)

"but you, o Lord,
are a shield about me,
my Glory,
and the One who lifts my head."
(Psalm 3:3, NASB)

Spice up your life

2010-11-12T23:25:00.011-05:00

Look at the gem of a cookbook I discovered while browsing in a used bookstore a couple of weeks ago. I was intrigued by the title and when I open the pages of this "vintage" 1964 edition my heart leapt with excitement. As you know I love to travel and this cookbook was taking me on a journey of exploration into a world I wanted to discover! As the inside cover states, "The Spice Cookbook is that most wonderful and rare of cookbooks: it is fun to read and fun to cook from."

The journey begins with a world map, where each spice is labelled on its country of origin. It then proceeds to give a history of the spice trade, spice profiles, how to cook with spices and finally ends with a variety of tantalizing recipes.

I am ready to "spice up my life" from the world adventures in this cookbook. I can already smell the "scent"sational, spicy aroma wafting from my kitchen.

a word to begin our weekend...

2010-11-05T20:38:00.014-05:00

Via Feathers of Inspiration, Refine Us.

Knowing changes how I think. Believing changes how I live.

Camp Mini-Yo-We, July 2009. That's me "believing" on the high ropes course!

I know God loves me; believing it means I live as the beloved.

I know I am forgiven; believing it means I live in gratitude for grace.

I know God has great plans for me; believing it means I live with a sense of expectation and anticipation.

I know there is spiritual warfare; believing means I prepare to stand against the Enemy each and every day.

I know that there is a heaven; believing means I live with the end in mind.

I know there are parts of my heart God longs to restore; believing that prompts me to surrender them to Him.

I know I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me; believing means I won’t try to accomplish God things in my own strength.

I know I have a Heavenly Father that loves me, cares for me and has set me a part; believing that means I live with the identity of a son.

Thanks for this reminder Feathers and Refine Us!

Finally....

2010-11-05T18:59:00.028-05:00

Finally I am posting my last two days of the "1o day challenge" over at Feathers of Inspiration. I'm a little late but like someone once said, "better late than never!"

Day Nine: Two smileys that describe your life right now.

Well actually I am posting three because I just couldn't decide.

The way I look after eating "pizza lunch" with my students!

The way I look after spending all day helping my students with their maths!

Wondering what I would look like if I were to wear this fabulous designer scarf!

Day Ten: One confession

I sleep with ear plugs, a retainer, "Breathe Right strips" ( An amazing product by the way!) and sometimes a face mask for good measure. I'm a sight for sore eyes!

That's me at the Hyatt Hotel, Yorkville, Toronto attending a conference. I don't normally stay in such high class hotels so I was mesmorized!

** All pics are courtesy of google images, except for the one directly above this message. **

Chantal

2010-10-30T10:30:00.021-05:00

I could feel them. They were rising up quickly ready to spill down my cheeks. Tears. Vulnerably showing my deep seeded emotions. My lips were quivering. I was trying to hold my breath for fear of being embarrassed, yet somehow shallow gasps escaped. I finally allowed my body to be free to express myself. I knew I was safe, I was free in that space with Chantal Kreviazuk. I was reacting honestly to the song, "In this Life," she was belting out in this awe-inspiring, empowering way. Chantal is raw, honest and one of the most wisest woman I have ever met. She is a gifted songwriter who gets to the core of our humanness.

Chantal was the guest artist for the Imagine Film Festival at Ontario Shores Centre for Mental Health Sciences. She is an advocate for CMHA raising awareness for mental illness, trying to stamp out the stigma that surrounds mental health and sharing that knowledge through the arts. She says, "I want people to realize that we're all born with unique challenges. When we isolate people because of their differences, the fabric of our society is compromised." You can read more here. Chantal has a close family member who wrestles with mental illness so her perspective is a unique one and one I can relate to, which is the reason I reacted so strongly to this song.

I experienced a God-moment with Chantal that night. I will forever cherish the moment. For me, it was "church"-well how church should be. "Broken people NOT pretending to be broken." (Remember this post?) There was an aura of raw honesty, respectability, love and freedom. Connection. She gets my perspective and I can't tell you the relief I experienced in my soul. Also, she gave me hope, in the form of art, to express my outlook of mental illness because as she said, "it is complicated."

My friends and I had the privilege of meeting Chantal after the concert. She is SO down-to-earth and real. A people person for sure who LOVES connecting with her audience. She took time with everyone to chat, sign autographs and take pictures. She appeared to be in NO hurry. A beautiful evening that has since spurred many ideas in my head on how I can advocate. She is my kind of girl that Chantal!

Chantal Kreviazuk and I at the Imagine Film Festival, Whitby, ON, Oct. 20, 2010

Chantal Kreviazuk - In This Life [OFFICIAL MUSIC VIDEO]

2010-10-30T09:29:00.000-05:00

10 Day Challenge - Day Eight

2010-10-27T18:25:00.007-05:00

Kingston, ON, July 2009-Artists' tools

Today Feathers of Inspiration want us to share our:

Three turn ons

Here are mine:

1) A sense of humour, including the ability for the person to laugh at my jokes as well.

2) A good cook who also does dishes and vacuuming and heck, all household chores!

3) A creative soul.

What are your three turn ons?

10 Day Challenge

2010-10-25T21:33:00.012-05:00

My friends over at Feathers of Inspiration are taking us on an unique 10 day challenge. I am just joining in on the fun. Why don't you!

Day Seven: Four turn offs.

1) Bad breath.

2) Extremely tight jeans on guys.

(I found this pic on google images!)

3) Guys that don't pay for coffee on the first date.

4) Conceited people.

questions

2010-10-25T06:00:00.000-05:00

I love asking unique questions. I'm not sure why but suspect it has to do with my interest in finding out more about the people in my life. Over at this Feathers of Inspiration blog post you will discover they like asking unique questions too! What are your answers? Here are mine:

Six things I wish I'd never done:

1) Taken grade 11 and 12 math in one year.

2) Not standing up for that "misfit" in my high school who was teased frequently. Her locker was beside mine. I wish I would have had more guts back then.

3) Transferred to YFC Brockville. Although the difficult time I encountered there made me stronger, introduced me to some beautiful people and led me to a healing place at GCC, which in turn allowed me to meet more beautiful people.

4) Walked away from that moment where I should have kissed Freddie the farmer(my ex boyfriend) on the corner of Calgary Trail and Whyte Ave., Edmonton, Alberta many years ago!

5) Crashed my dad's brand new 1983 Cutlass Supreme into the side of the hospital parking garage where he was being treated for an ulcer! I made it worse that day. I was 16 years old and had recently gotten my driver's licence. But, I received the best advice from the police officer that day...he told me to get back into that car and drive it home or I would never want to drive a car again! I must also add that as the accident was occuring, our close family friends were parking their car in this same garage, as they were on their way up to see my dad in the hospital! It was a God-thing for sure. They were a great help to me and still are to this day!

6) Permed my hair! For years I never realized I had naturally wavy hair and didn't need a perm because I always permed my hair!

Inside the mind of two children with autism!

2010-10-24T06:00:00.000-05:00

I have the privilege of working with some amazing students with special needs. Sometimes I think they teach us more about ourselves than from what we teach them. One boy ("Q") in grade 5 who has autism, wrote a "get well" letter to his classmate (Tristan) who broke his femur while racing his dirt bike. Tristan came to visit the class last week during his recuperation. "Q" asked if he could read his letter to Tristan. "Q" stood up, adjusted his wire-rimmed glasses and in a strong, enunciated voice read the following:Priceless!

A few weeks ago, I walked past our teachers resource room and the following is what captured my attention:

I knew EXACTLY who the culprit was and let out a laugh! It is not graffiti. It is the handiwork of another student with autism. This girl is not as high functioning as "Q," but she is smart and very special nonetheless! She has given us an opportunity to "climb into her skin." Except I have no idea how to interpret her missive! Priceless!

home

2010-10-23T11:30:00.000-05:00

best friends together again offering free love

HOME: "a place of refuge, 'in the bosom,' warm closeness, a state of enclosing intimacy."

Have you ever been enjoying a moment where everything is fitting together perfectly and you suspect you are part of something bigger than yourself (I call those "God-moments!"), part of an unfolding story where you know beyond a shadow of a doubt you will be a piece of the conclusion, a moment where words are incapable of explaining that which is taking place in your soul and externally around you?

I had the privilege of experiencing a "God-moment" a few weekends ago at my dear friends' home. My other dear friend Shave and I dropped in unexpectedly to the Dallas home on that sunny Saturday afternoon. Shave was in town and wanted a visit with us together.

The Dallas home is beyond welcoming! There is always the smell of fresh baking permeating the air. The kids always greet me with a hug and a kiss and a "I love you Aunt Skin!"("Aunt Skin" is my nickname given by their mom a long time ago! I can't believe it has stuck and been passed down to the next generation!) There is always laughter. The Dallas home is always busy yet intimate. The patriarch and matriarch of the home, Darryl and Lisa, have a gift of hospitality. Immediately, they make you feel comfortable and at home. Free love is all around. The Dallas home is a place where one can totally be themselves. It is home. It is a "place of refuge, in the bosom, warm closeness, a state of enclosing intimacy."

What Shave and I didn't know was the Dallas' were expecting company later that afternoon. But they didn't care we were there. In fact, they wanted us to stay. So, we stayed! It was definitely meant to be. We helped with the food preparation and the setting of the table. My soul was filled and happy even in doing these mundane chores!

Instantly, when the guests arrived, Shave and I felt a connection with these strangers. The kitchen of the Dallas home is the heart of their home so as we, strangers and friends, stood together in this space, something special began to form. It is difficult for me to put into words, yet I somehow want to capture this moment so I won't forget.

...healing...forgiveness...no filter...laughter...tears...peace....singing...harmonies...dancing to Wii...amazing food...listening...honesty...coming alongside and helping one of the strangers on their journey of faith...silly talk...comfort...comfortable...sounds of children everywhere...love...love...and more love...free love...Jesus...free love...

I am incredibly grateful to be part of this stranger's story. I am incredibly grateful for the gift of friendship. My soul is once again energized. I am at home.

home: "a place of refuge, 'in the bosom,' warm closeness, a state of enclosing intimacy."

Happy Thanksgiving

2010-10-11T12:32:00.011-05:00

Today we Canadians celebrate Thanksgiving. I have had a fabulous Thanksgiving weekend, especially savouring my dad's tantilizing turkey and my mom's palatable pumpkin pie. (I do think she makes the best pumpkin pie!) Tonight I am off to friends for our annual soccer game and pizza feast! Thanksgiving is an opportunity to give thanks for all the good things in our lives, the hard times in our lives that have made us stronger, the freedoms we abundantly enjoy and the opportunity to gather with family and friends celebrating each other.

However, for me Thanksgiving means more than these things. My parents have always extended pure, unconditional hospitality to those without family close by or those who are less fortunate each year. I am grateful for their unselfish spirit of generosity. It is a beautiful gift. I have to confess I am a wee bit more selfish than they. I'm not sure how that happened along the path of my life's journey! Don't get me wrong, I love entertaining, I love people but am a bit more protective of my time.

This year, we enjoyed two different sets of people at our dinner table throughout the weekend, one planned and one unexpected- late last night actually. Weary was I when I climbed into bed, yet somehow I felt refreshed and rejuevenated! I care about people, I love helping people and I love hearing their life story. Thanksgiving has taught me to go back to that place where I know the core of my being is unselfish and open to the lives surrounding me. When we give in this way, we are blessed beyond our expectations. Thankful am I.

a new lesson in "sharing" etiquette from a box of kleenex

2010-09-27T21:24:00.017-05:00

One of my students in grade 5 (age 10) had this creative idea to ensure no one in her class would use her tissue...

Translation: " I cofet (coughed) on this so if I were you I wouldn't touch unless you want to get sick like me." (I believe this student wrote the LOL after some of her classmates told her she was being rude. She wanted to ensure she was only joking!)

Brilliant idea, isn't it?! Another school-life moment which made my day!

my perspective from the choir loft

2010-09-26T09:39:00.042-05:00

As I scanned the crowd from the choir loft this morning, a quote I read over at Supersimbo 's blog popped into my head:

“What is church? It’s people, broken people, pretending not to be broken and that’s what breaks it.”
(The quote is from Phil Groom’s blog post
http://philgroom.wordpress.com/2010/07/23/broken-church/)

So many broken people. I see it in their eyes. So many broken people trying to be brave. So many broken people mustering all the strength they have to trust God, our Healer, with their brokenness.

We've come a long way at my church. The walls of pretending- everything- is- great are being torn down. I see more vulnerableness. I see more transparency. I see less judgement. And that makes my heart happy.

I can understand why we pretend not to be broken. It requires letting go of pride, of being humble, of being exposed. Dictionary.com defines vulnerable as, "being open to attack." Sadly, there have been many in the church who have been attacked when they have shared their fractured lives. Some chose to forgive and stay while others chose to forgive and move on.

The church is to be a refuge, a safe community where broken people - and that includes ALL of us - can find freedom and release, without judgement, from our fragmented lives through our relationship with Christ.

As one who is also broken, I hope I can reflect and encourage an attitude of openness, without judgement, for the hurting people I see from the choir loft each Sunday. We are in this together. We are the church. Let's stop pretending and allow our Healer to turn our brokenness into something beautiful which fosters truth, growth and honour to our great God.

The Magic of Memories and Muskoka Chairs

2010-09-14T20:36:00.025-05:00

Muskoka Chair (or as my US neighbours call it, Adirondack Chair) August 2010, Port Sydney, ON

The last few weeks have been a whirlwind. Hosting my cousins from Northern Ireland was wonderful, but I must admit, a bit exhausting. I started back to work in the middle of their visit, which proved to be a bit crazy! I am glad to be back to work and back to the fall routines mind you! One of the highlights during my cousins' visit was our camping expedition to the resort I spent all my summers at when I was a pre-teen/teenager! I hadn't camped there in years. Those were some of the best summers of my life.

Memory is an amazing gift. As I ambled down the steep, dirt pathways of the trailer park through the forest on our way to the beach, I recounted to my cousin the many crazy adventures I experienced at this "cottage country" get-a-way...

jumping off the rope swing...cliff diving off the rocks of the Canadian Shield...sunbathing in the Muskoka chairs on the beach...skinny dipping...campfires...s'mores...singing around the campfire...hayrides...horse back riding...honeymoon trail...summer friends...fresh air...clear view of the bright starry sky...chipmunks eating out of your hand...raccoons rummaging through our garbage... swimming out to the dock at dusk...Friday the 13th scare through the forest paths...Midnight Madness in Huntsville... cruising into Huntsville via the river and through the locks...Port Sydney rapids...Port Sydney beach Sundays...great 80's music like Bryan Adams, The Police...breathtaking fall colours...cross country skiing in the middle of winter...winter youth retreats...aawww...sigh...

The magic of memories made me realize I was truly "home."

Mary Lake, Port Sydney, Ontario, August 2010

is it really the end of summer? back to work already?

2010-08-25T21:30:00.008-05:00

Saturday August 21, 2010 Tommy Hilfiger, Outlet Mall, Niagara Falls, ON

I am grateful for my job and grateful for the holidays we receive. I must confess, and this may sound strange, it is hard to go back to work (September 7th, my birthday!) after having the summer off. Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining, but I wish I could retire VERY early! Since that isn't an option, I am anticipating the arrival of my cousins from Northern Ireland tomorrow. It will be a great way to end my fantabulous summer! Cheerio for now!

Eat, Pray, Love, Eat, Eat...

2010-08-19T08:23:00.012-05:00

December 1986-on the steps of the Leaning Tower of Pisa, Italy. I am thoroughly enjoying my fresh Italian bread, cheese and wine!

Last night I had a love affair....with my wood-fired, "Opa" pizza sitting on the patio of my favourite restaurant! It was a perfect evening. Live music filled the cool night air, a welcome relief from the intense humidity we have experienced all summer. You probably can guess I had just seen the movie, "Eat, Pray, Love." (Shh Carol and Carolyn! I know the DAMN Altos are going to see this movie in September but my friend asked me to go as a pre-birthday celebration! I will gladly see it again!) After the movie, my friend and I were inspired to relax, enjoy our glass of chardonnay and eat our pizza with our hands! (What risk takers we were! My friend and I are both "eat-pizza-with-a-knife-and-fork-kind-of-girls!") No reservations! Dig in, savouring the rich flavours of this gastronomic indulgence!

Both my friend and I re-lived our adventures in Italy and France remembering how much we loved their culture. Even though the French and Italians lead busy lives like ourselves in North America, there is something special about their ability to enjoy a balanced life. They take the time to relax, enjoy the company of their friends and family while also taking the time to savour the food spread around their table. No need to rush. No need to hurry. At the end of the day, they get their work done. At the end of the day, they make their guests, and even strangers, feel loved. I could get used to their way of life!

So, last night I had a love affair! And it was good.

be careful what you wish for

2010-08-16T21:41:00.024-05:00

My Christmas wish sort of came true today. My parents and I received an email 3 weeks ago from my brother which stated, "Time has a way of soothing. I would like to connect and move forward if you are willing..."

You can imagine our excitement. My brother was "coming home." Over the years I prayed for reconciliation but truthfully, most of my prayers were prayed flippantly and with cynicism. My brother can be a stubborn sort!

We met my brother for coffee today. It didn't go well at all. **sigh** I'm very disappointed. Clearly my brother is not ready to move forward. There are still unwritten expectations that need to be dismantled, on both sides truthfully. However, it was next to impossible to share our perspectives because my brother would interrupt and shut the conversation down. It was so frustrating. I must say I was proud of my parents. They did handle themselves well. I was a wee bit worried! There were a few things they would have been best not to mention, but that is their way and their generation! One thing I observed- their love for their son. It was free flowing, unconditional. But, my brother was blinded by defensiveness to see it. **sigh** It was heartbreaking things didn't turn out the way we hoped.

My dad ended up having a reaction to all the stress later in the afternoon. He began to shake uncontrollably, was feverish and sick to his stomach. He was very disappointed too. I'm not sure why my brother wanted to meet us if he wasn't ready to move on. But, I am continuing to trust God in this matter. He has started to soften my brother's heart, soften my parent's hearts, soften my heart and has started the healing process in our family. I don't understand. It is painful to see the hurt in my parents' eyes. But, I have to continue to trust the One who heals broken lives.

I hate this dissension in my family. Life isn't suppose to turn out this way! There are no guarantees are there when you raise your children? Parents do the best they can. My parents raised us well. Sure, they weren't perfect but who is. We were loved, cared for and given all we could ever dream or imagine. I am grateful for my upbringing. I find it strange that siblings can grow up in the same environment yet have totally different perspectives on how they were raised.

*sigh* One day we will have the best homecoming ever! I have to believe that.

let it go

2010-08-09T12:18:00.020-05:00

My head clearly sees the solution needed to heal my torn heart.

presume:
verb
to take for granted, assume, or suppose

presumption:
noun
the act of presuming

Friendships can be difficult to navigate but worth the effort of staying on course. I didn't expect, as I have travelled on my life journey, I would still have to carefully negotiate amicably my alliances. What I'm learning is I have placed, subconsciously, certain expectations on some of my close friendships. These unwritten presumptions have caused unnecessary hurt, anger and frustration. Although to be fair to myself, these expectations are valid. But, I need to protect my heart. Thus, I need to let it all go. I need to let go of these presumptions clouding my mind in order to save myself from more ensuing heartache. Self-protection is a good mechanism. With the continual release of these expectations, I will be free to enjoy the friendships that have hurt my soul. They are worth saving. Breathe. Let it go. Absolve.

summertime dilemma...

2010-08-06T14:11:00.005-05:00

...poolside at "kiddie" therapy pool where we have access to our "cabana boy" bringing us strawberry daiquiris?

Or...poolside at "adult-sized" pool surrounded by peace, quiet and gorgeous country scenery with no access to a "cabana boy?"

Dilemma solved. I did enjoy the "kiddie" therapy pool with my friend John! However, both options have been heavenly this summer. We have been having hot, humid sunny days. I am having a relaxing summer during my "staycasion," doing an odd assortment of activities close to home. I don't want to think about going back to work in one month! My cousins from Northern Ireland arrive on the 26th for a few weeks, which I am greatly anticipating. My mind is in such a relaxed mode I haven't been blogging much. But, I have a few stories brewing. I trust you are enjoying your summer wherever you are! Peace out!

Cure Contention

2010-07-25T08:51:00.005-05:00

"Let me give you a new command: Love one another. In the same way I loved you, you love one another. This is how everyone will recognize that you are my disciples--

-- when they see the love you have for each other."
(John 13: 34-35, The Message)

Summer 2010 Thus Far!

2010-07-23T08:08:00.002-05:00

**click on collage to gain a better view of the pics**

** some of my summer activities thus far:**

~ tour of Camp X, the WWII Spy Training School
~ outdoor Yoga at Parkwood Estate
~ shopping in Toronto
~ swimming at Centennial Pool
~ watching the Fifa World Cup final match (the pic is in top row and tiny!)
~ hanging with family and friends
~ visiting the library
~ outdoor Shakespeare theatre at Parkwood
~ pampering myself
~ volunteering for Community Care
~ jamming with local bands
~touring the local countryside
~ remodelling
~ road trips
~ gastronomy pleasures
~ soaking up the beauty of nature around me
~ just chillin'
~ watching the never-ending construction of a church on the same property as my apartment
~ savoring summertime memories

visit with American cousins in Kittaning, PA

2010-07-22T19:45:00.004-05:00

Last weekend, I went on a road trip with my folks travelling down the Alleghany River in Pennslyvania, USA. Final stop: a small town nestled on the banks of this gorgeous river where my dad's cousins live. Enjoy the photo collage of this latest adventure.
I

Some noteworthy observations about life in smalltown USA:
* the old country church (circa 1872) we attended Sunday morning had air conditioning but no indoor plumbing. Their outhouse was the first I'd been in that was carpeted! It was a "pleasure" doing business in there!
* the graves at the church cemetery are marked with American flags and special badges if the deceased was a war veteran
* you can't get away from fried food
* everyone is so friendly and willing to help, esp. while shopping at the Walmart
* the sales are INCREDIBLE and 100% better than in Canada
* the court house square reminds me of "Back to the Future"
* only my parents will plan a party in their hotel room for the whole clan!
*everyone is patriotic and speaks their mind-out loud!
I like that!

PS Click on the collage and it will enlarge so you can actually see some of the pics!

a bold memorial

2010-07-08T08:55:00.034-05:00

I saw something today that made me stop and turn my car around. I wanted to take a closer look. It was a memorial. One that no doubt is controversial, but worth pausing to reflect and remember.

In the shadow of the large maple tree looming high above the catholic church hall, there stood a white, wooden cross. An abundantly colourful wildflower garden surrounded the cross. In the middle, nailed to that cross, was a yellow sign with black bold lettering which proclaimed:

"In honour of those who lost their lives due to abortion."

I realize the abortion issue is a controversial one , even to those reading my blog. I am pro- life. I make no bones about it. However, I make no judgement upon those who are pro-choice. Realistically, if I am to be honest with myself, I have no idea what decision I would make if I was suddenly raped and left pregnant. I would hope I would chose life, but I can't be 100% certain.

Life is a miracle. More and more I am utterly amazed at how intricately detailed God has designed our bodies to be alive and to create life. A couple months back I went to the Body Worlds exhibit with my school. I found it to be a fascinating exhibit. I learned so much and, being a visual learner I was in my glory. It clearly showed me how truly amazing our human body is and how the design of it fits together perfectly. It confirmed in my mind God is an amazing Creator.

The one area that intrigued me the most was seeing the babies (fetuses) as young as 5 weeks (I believe) right up to 40 weeks. I stood and stared for a long time marvelling at these precious babies standing only 1 cm tall- they WERE babies with fingernails, eyelashes, smiles on their faces, etc. It saddened me as well to know these babies were children of parents out there who lost them far too young. It was a poignant moment for me. But one that affirmed life begins at conception. Truly a miracle. Life is precious.

So how does one respond to a bold, powerful memorial declaring to those that pass by, life is precious choose wisely, remember the innocent ones who didn't have the opportunity to experience life here on earth?

My response. A prayer for the families and then I thanked God for the life He has allowed me to live. May I continue to live it wisely.

Thank you Nellie

2010-06-26T21:34:00.013-05:00

I am a survivor. Barely, truth be told!

I was immersed in the wilds of "pre-teenage-dom" this week and let's just say it was quite the fierce adventure! I was one of four chaperones on our Grade 8 Grad Trip to our nation's capital, Ottawa. Overall it was good and I LOVED touring all the historical places and museums, including our Parliament. I have many stories and pictures I could share but choose to just highlight one moment that inspired and profoundly affected me. It caught me by surprise actually.

We were standing on Parliament Hill, looking at the statue of our first Prime Minister of Canada, Sir John A. MacDonald. Our tour guide, whom I could write an entire novel about, was rattling on about something. The chaperones were trying to keep the students quiet, which was next to impossible! Out of the corner of my eye, I glimpsed a group of statues in the distance. I wanted to explore but wasn't sure if I should wander away from our group. Curiousity got the better of me! As I approached this group of statues, I immediately knew who they were...

Nellie McClung and her fellow reformers who first fought to have Canadian women declared as "persons" in 1929, then fought for the women's right to vote in 1916...

As I stood in the middle of these statues taking my photos, I paused...

... for I needed to take a moment to reflect on the ramifications of this historical event.

... for I needed to take a moment to offer my gratitude for the sacrifices made by these women who forged the way enabling Canadian women to freely vote.

It was a gift. One I realized I took for granted until standing amidst their presence on "the Hill!"
It was an empowering, poignant moment for me. Thank you Nellie McClung and your fellow reformers! Thank you.

My solitude was quickly interrupted by the bellows of my students calling, "Miss W., Miss W., Miss W......"

visit with shave

2010-06-06T19:34:00.000-05:00

A gentle, humid breeze was blowing through the open window when I quietly walked into her room where she lay sleeping. Peaceful. Beautiful. I stood at the base of her bed and just watched her for a few moments. Quiet, except for the low hum of the fan blowing on her face. I didn't want to wake her. Not yet. My mind took me back in time when I had my first sleepover with Shave here. We were vivacious, innocent teenagers ready to tackle the world. I loved coming to this house here in the country.

The drive up today was glorious. A crisp Wedgwood blue sky, with cotton-ball clouds greeted me. I could feel myself relaxing the further north I drove. Beautiful countryside. Untouched. Old, dilapidated wooden barns with their stone foundations dot the landscape. Rural Ontario. I love it!

As I drove onto the causeway and crossed the lake, I began to feel nervous. Finally Shave and I were connecting. I didn't know what to expect. There was so much I wanted to say. I rehearsed it over in my mind. As I rounded the last corner before reaching her parent's house, I took a deep breath of the fresh country air. Shave's childhood home stood on the corner. The swimming pool is gone, the trees are taller and fuller, but the same sweet energy permeates from the property.

I didn't want to wake her. She needed to sleep. But I longed to just hold her in this space. To affirm all is well. To support. To love. Just a few more moments.

I saw the scarf. It was covering what I was afraid to see. Why do we fear losing that which seems so superficial. Why is it a traumatic event losing one's hair. My sweet Shave looked beautiful in spite of this loss. Her glow was undeniable as she stirred and turned toward me. I was greeted by her famous smile and laugh- oh can she laugh! My fears immediately ceased. I knew she was my same sweet Shave. All would be well. Shave told me later she had been dreaming about me and totally knew I was in the room even though she didn't hear me enter. Unique friends are we!

I crawled into bed beside my sweet Shave because she was in too much pain to get up. We hugged for a long time. Our hug was full of hope, promise and colour! No need for words. I love that about our friendship. We "get" each other.

Later, she let me see her beautiful, bald head and I didn't even freak out! All is well. Faith is intact. Faith is strengthened. Emmanuel!

April 2010- taken from my mobile phone while driving home from work

mid-life re-focus

2010-06-03T19:05:00.005-05:00

Niagara Falls ON, May 9, 2010 - Mother's Day

"The only limit to your life is your own imagination. The only thing that's going to stop you from doing whatever it is you want to do is your ability to envision it."

(Shonda Rhime's father)

summer lovin' had me a blast

2010-05-30T06:27:00.014-05:00

I cannot believe I still remember my first summer crush. Jeremy Pillsworth was his name. We met at the resort where my family had a trailer. I was 12 years old and thought I had died and gone to heaven! I even named my diary after him. Every entry began with, "Dear J.P.!"

Last week I was cleaning out some boxes and found my diary. Yes, I am sentimental and a bit of a pack rat! On a whim, I decided to see if I could find him on Facebook. Sure enough, I found him. He was the only Jeremy Pillsworth.

On a whim, I decided to message him. Surprisingly, he wrote back. By now you all know I am a sucker for romance and at times live in a dream world! So, I was thinking it would be so romantic if I ended up falling in love with my first summer crush.

I know life does not imitate movies-well maybe sometimes! On a whim, I decided to google Jeremy Pillsworth. Guess what I discovered? He had a little run in with the law a couple of years ago. Some charges were serious, not murder or anything, but enough to send major red flags in my direction.

Oh a whim, I purposely deleted him as my friend from FB.

Summer lovin' happened so fast and...

... ended!

C'est la vie!
Summer days driftin' away, to uh-oh those summer nights!

what are the tears for?

2010-05-24T11:02:00.034-05:00

All of a sudden, seemingly out of no where, salty, warm, comforting tears began to stream down my cheek. My stomach muscles were contracting at the same time, pushing the soft sobs in an upward motion out through my vocal chords to the still night air inside my old Buick Century. I was stopped at a red light. I was aware of the stares from the handsome man inside the rather large Dodge Ram truck stopped beside my car. I didn't care. I let the sobs come freely and with force. They didn't stop when the light turned green. In fact, they continued for a long while. "Why?," I pondered.

Just moments before I had attended my first book reading/interview at our local library by my new favourite Canadian author, Susanna Kearsley, whom I wrote about here.
I walked away in awe of this incredible woman. Not only is she a gifted writer, but a gifted storyteller as well. I could have listened to her all evening. I didn't want the night to end. Something in my spirit from conversing with Susanna made me react in my car. Maybe the email I wrote to her will further explain:

Dear Susanna,

I just returned home form a lovely evening listening to you speak at the Whitby Public Library. In addition to being a gifted writer, you are an incredibly gifted storyteller. I could have sat and listened to you all night "spin your yarns!" There is something in my spirit that adores hearing about other people's adventures.

I was also grateful to hear how your life has shaped your novels. For me, it was like putting the final piece of the puzzle together.... Anyways, while driving home along Brock Street north, I found myself sobbing uncontrollably while processing all I learned from you tonight. I am still not totally sure why I responded in this way to your amazing talk. But, I do know it sparked that creative spirit in me which has been lying dormant for way too long.

Something about this evening made me feel alive and excited again. I connected to something. I connected to you not just because we share similar interests but because you have this special gift of bringing to life for us the reader, the stories that are alive in you. You have a special gift of allowing us to enter your world. You have a gift for retelling history. Thank you. We connect to your characters on so many different levels. I love how you care so deeply for your characters. It is so natural. I love how you are so humble and down-to-earth. Thank you.

I am still processing all I heard tonight and still processing why I cried. I do have creative outlets, one of which is my blog, non-fiction mind you. But I need to be more proactive at regularly accessing my creativity. There is so much in me that needs to get out! I think that is one of the things I took home from tonight: the creative energy in me brings me so much joy and fulfillment and so often it is squashed and suppressed. I need to not allow that to happen!

Anyways, I am rambling now. My whole point in this long email is to just simply say thank you for showing up tonight at the reading ( I did find it interesting you arrived in a taxi)! And thank you for sharing your gift with the world. My life is richer form reading your novels! All the best. I can't wait to finish, "The Shadowy Horses!"
Have a great day,

K.

Susanna Kearsley being interviewed at the reading of her novel, "The Shadowy Horses."

PS I just discovered Susanna is a cousin to childhood friends of mine. She married into the family! Her late father-in-law worked with my father. What a small world! I'm definitely going to the family picnic! hehehe!

the sparrow

2010-05-16T11:16:00.014-05:00

Sparrows nesting in an abandoned church, Kensington Market, Toronto, ON, 2005

The words to this old gospel hymn kept running through my head for some reason. I thought I would share them with you today. May this song encourage you. (To hear Lauryn Hill from the Sister Act 2 soundtrack sing this song, click here.)

His Eye Is On the Sparrow
1905, Civilla D. Martin, Charles H. Gabriel

Verse 1:
Why should I feel discouraged,
Why should the shadows come,
Why should my heart be lonely
And long for Heav'n and home,
When Jesus is my portion?
My constant Friend is He:
His eye is on the sparrow,
And I know He watches me;
His eye is on the sparrow,
And I know He watches me.

Refrain:
I sing because I'm happy,
I sing because I'm free,
For His eye is on the sparrow,
And I know He watches me.

Verse 2:
"Let not your heart be troubled,"
His tender word I hear,
And resting on His goodness,
I lose my doubts and fears;
Though by the path He leadeth
But one step I may see:
His eye is on the sparrow,
And I know He watches me;
His eye is on the sparrow,
And I know He watches me.

Verse 3:
Whenever I am tempted,
Whenever clouds arise,
When songs give place to sighing,
When hope within me dies,
I draw the closer to Him,
From care He sets me free:
His eye is on the sparrow,
And I know He cares for me;
His eye is on the sparrow,
And I know He cares for me.

"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in the barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? ...So don't be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows." (Matthew 6: 25,26; 10:31)

"How lovely is your dwelling place, O Lord Almighty! My soul yearns, even faints, for the courts of the Lord; my heart and my flesh cry out for the living God. Birds find nooks and crannies in your house, sparrows and swallows make nests there. They lay their eggs and raise their young, singing their songs in the place where we worship. How blessed they are to live and sing there! ...Blessed are those whose strength is in you...For the Lord God is a sun and shield; the Lord bestows favour and honour; no good thing does he withhold from those whose walk is blameless." (Psalm 84, NIV, The Message)

Out and About on a Saturday in May

2010-05-08T18:34:00.001-05:00

I recently discovered a Canadian author who has now become my favourite. I was first introduced to her book, "The Winter Sea," by a good friend of mine. I was skeptical at first when I learned of the premise, however, as soon as I began to read this historical fiction novel, I couldn't put it down. Susanna Kearsley captured my attention. I was thrilled to learn she would be making an appearance at our local Chapters bookstore on Saturday. Without my friend in tow ( she is in Italy with her hubby) , I braved the stormy weather and experienced my first author sighting/signing.

I was a wee bit nervous as I had no idea what to expect nor what to say to Susanna. I was pleasantly surprised by her down- to- earth nature and easy way. We had a wee chat where I discovered she lives in my hometown. Then she agreed to a photo-op and book signing.
I had a lovely experience. Later that afternoon, I headed up to the small town of Port Perry to visit my friend Lisa. At one point, we toured the countryside en route to pick up her son from a friend's house. I love the barns in Ontario and had to stop for a photo - op. We are slowly losing our farms in this area to developers, so I will treasure this photo.
I loved this log cabin home where we picked up T.
Tip-toeing through the tulips!
A lovely "out-and-about" excursion on a rainy Saturday in May!

about shave

2010-05-02T10:07:00.042-05:00

i am selfish. it is the truth. however, i think the underlying problem is fear. i am afraid to see my best friend. finally she is ready to have visitors after her breast cancer diagnosis and i am afraid to visit. she is in the middle of chemo treatments. that means her hair will all be gone. i am afraid to see her sick like this. i have been extremely supportive, as best as i can be from afar. why am i afraid to see her now.

many emotions crowded my mind when i first received her call to tell me she has cancer. shock being the most dominant. you see my sweet shave is more than a best friend to me. she is family. she is my sister, even though we are not related biologically. from that first moment we met when we were 13 years old ( well shave was 12) we knew we would be kindred spirits for life. we have a rich history together marked by pain, suffering, tears, laughter, joy, our journey with Jesus and good 'ole fun. both of us have this unique ability to sense how the other is feeling before we even utter the words. sometimes we don't even need to speak. our friendship truly is a gift. shave is an incredibly wise, beautiful, strong woman who loves her family, friends, and Jesus deeply. there have been snippets of time where i wondered how i would react if shave died. it was difficult to go to that place so i avoided it altogether. until that monday evening on January 18, 2010. our conversation is a blur. yet, what i do know is my first thoughts were selfish: "shave can't die, what am i going to do without her, how will i live without her, she is too young to have cancer (she really does look like she is 16 and i feel like i am a teenager!), God why her, etc." then my mind started questioning my own mortality. selfish. although i do think it is a natural response when faced with such a shock.

my sweet shave didn't need me to be selfish. my sweet shave needed my support now more than ever in whatever way SHE needed it. so after two days of self-pity, i made the right decision and turned my focus to supporting my sistah! i used my creativity to reach out to her in spite of the distance that separated us ( and still does)! i know she was grateful - more than she could express. she also has an incredible support system surrounding her so i knew she would be in good hands. my support lasted for a few weeks then slowly dwindled, which is not in my nature at all. i am a loyal friend.

it is easy to avoid and try to forget from afar. although shave is never far from my thoughts and prayers. i have cried many tears for shave and her family. yet, if i am to be honest with myself, i kind of like the distance that separates us. why? is it because i can go about my normal routine and pretend nothing is wrong? is it because i'm afraid to face my own fears? why am i so afraid of death when i am secure in knowing where i stand when i die ? maybe it's not a fear of death at all but rather of being left all alone on this earth with no one to care for me. ( in my head i know this is not true!) or is it because i am emotionally spent with my own family "stuff" going on ? is it because maybe shave knows she might die from this disease? apparently the doctors got everything and nothing spread to her lympth nodes. the chemo is a standard treatment precaution. so the prognosis is apparently good. however, something was up with shave when i last visited her the end of december, before the news. i can't explain it. i just know. it's that kindred spirit thing! but it did bother me prior to her news. we didn't talk about it, not yet anyways.

i needed to get this out of me. i needed to piece together how and why i am feeling this way. i need to process. i feel free to share in my space here. i know i am being selfish. i know this is about shave and not me. yet i am still selfish. i am scared.

one thing i do know for sure. i WILL go to visit my sweet shave on saturday and when i finally meet her face to face, i will hug her tightly and we will cry for a long time. then we will laugh. she will NOT see my fear. she will NOT see my selfishness. she WILL know she is loved. she WILL know she is supported. she WILL know the day is all about her. and that is the truth.

Sick as a dog...

2010-04-29T19:36:00.004-05:00

Bubba. Kingston, ON, July 2008

I have been down with an infection all week that is holding on for dear life and won't let go. I went back to work today but still feel "under the weather." To make matters worse, we have been in the midst of renovations so I haven't gotten the proper rest I need to make a full recovery. I had high hopes to blog this week, but life turned out differently. C'est la vie. I hope you are having a good week. Looking forward to reading your blogs this weekend! Be careful you don't end up in the "doghouse!"

Happy Earth Day!

2010-04-25T18:25:00.014-05:00

July 2009, Mary Lake, ON-from the beach at Camp Mini-Yo-We

"First this: God created the Heavens and Earth--all you see, all you don't see... God named the land Earth. He named the pooled water Ocean.
God saw that it was good.
God spoke: 'Earth, green up! Grow all varieties of seed-bearing plants, every sort of fruit-bearing tree." And there it was. Earth produced green seed-bearing plants, all varieties, and fruit-bearing trees of all sorts. '
God saw that it was good.
God spoke: 'Lights! Come out! Shine in Heaven's sky!...Mark seasons and days and years, lights in Heaven's sky to give light to Earth.' And there it was. God made two big lights, the larger to take charge of day, the smaller to be in charge of night; and He made the stars. God placed them in the heavenly sky to light up Earth and oversee day and night, to separate light and dark.'
God saw that it was good.
God spoke: 'Earth, generate life! Every sort and kind...and there it was.' God saw that it was good. God spoke: 'Let us make human beings in our image, make them reflecting God's nature so they can BE RESPONSIBLE FOR the fish in the sea, the birds in the air, the cattle, AND YES, EARTH ITSELF and every animal that moves on the face of Earth.'
God looked over everything he had made; it was so good, so very good!"
(Genesis 1, The Message)

Let us not forget God's admonition for us to be responsible for this incredible Earth we inhabit, for this Earth He created for us to savor. Basque in its glory. Basque in the glory of its Creator.
Happy Earth Day!

Dreaming of Summer...

2010-04-24T17:38:00.012-05:00

"Forget not that the earth delights to feel your bare feet and the winds long to play with your hair."
-- Kahlil Gibran

July 2008, view of the North Sea from the Ards Peninsula, Northern Ireland

What I saw today while out riding my new bike...

2010-04-03T14:55:00.007-05:00

... isn't she cute! I love her!

We woke up to the work of graffiti "artists" in our neighbourhood...on the wall of the school...

...on the bus shelter...

...on the garbage can...

...on the emergency exit at our apartment building. Our superintendent has now repainted the door so it is as good as new!

In spite of the graffiti, spring is in the air...

Enjoy your Easter weekend!

"Christ the Lord has Risen today....Hallelujah!"

Tragedy in my old neighbourhood

2010-03-31T19:35:00.011-05:00

Amidst tragedy there is hope. I do believe that. I want to believe that. However, this mindset is difficult for me at times when I see stories like this involving the teenagers in our community. This stabbing took place near the public high school where I graduated. It is at good neighbourhood. This incident, murder actually, rattled our community. No longer are high school fights with just fists. They usually involve weapons of some kind. Why are so many young people today filled with so much anger. I deal with this anger on a regular basis in my job. It saddens me. It frustrates me. I see apathy. I see disrespect. I see deep hurt. I see fear. Even so, I do see a refreshing honesty. I can get bogged down and overwhelmed with the negative side of what I experience in my job and forget the teenagers who are making a difference.

It was a rough week. Yet, I was so encouraged and blessed by the following email I received from one of my former students at GCC, a private university preparatory high school:

"Hello Miss W.!
It is so good to hear from you. I just have to tell you that I still think about how much you made my time at GCC better. I am so grateful for you driving me to church on Sundays and really reaching out to all of us girls back in High School. You made my time at GCC so much better! Thank you!
I am still living in California.. . I have been working as a high school teacher for two boys who are professional surfers and due to their travel schedules cannot attend a traditional school (yes, they have a rough life -eh?). It is a great job and my students are very nice. ..
I just love Face Book - it is so fun to get connected with people from years past! Thank you once again for everything you did for all of us girls at GCC. I can't imagine how different my first experience living away from home would have been, if it were not for your kindness!"

There is hope amidst tragedy. I pray this generation of teenagers will make it safely to the other side unscathed.

Is this part of my job description?

2010-03-27T09:45:00.018-05:00

The following is an excerpt from my Facebook status last Thursday:

"K.W. is wondering if it is in her job description to warn of impending physical doom due to certain wardrobe malfunctions! hehehehe! Nah! I'll let them figure that one out on their own!"

Is anyone curious of the story behind my status?! I felt like some secret agent writing in a secret code so as to not give too many details away in a public place where my co-workers lurk! I wasn't sure how much information I could share on FB but wanted to tell the story here on my own blog.

The person in question was the female student who dropped the "F-bomb" on me here. (Just in case you were wondering, she has settled down and is actually asking for my help again!)

Are there things you know now that you wish you knew back when you were a teenager? Things that would have made your life easier? For me, yes. Would it have made any difference though? I think part of the rite of passage of adolescence is learning things the hard way!

Let me tell you I was so tempted to impart my "wisdom" to my "F-bomb" student on Thursday afternoon when I walked into her class. I noticed she was wearing a tank top that revealed just a bit too much, with very little support! We do have a dress code at school but obviously no one approached her about her inappropriate dress. I'm sure they were dealing with other pressing matters! A thought crossed my mind as I was helping this young girl with her math. Do I dare give her this piece of advice that will MOST definitely be advantageous when she gets to be my age?! She will thank me! I wanted to whisper in her ear, " you need to buy a better bra honey, one that will support you more fully than the what you are barely wearing now. Gravity kicks in at my age and things change forever. There's on turning back. But you can do something about it NOW!" However, I exhibited restraint and bit my tongue. I didn't want her to" give me the finger" again! She will have to learn the hard way, just like me!

At least there are some of my students who appreciate my words of wisdom. One boy in grade 8 told me on Friday, "Miss W., I tell you things I don't even tell my parents or other people." I chuckled to myself because I'm not exactly sure what "things" he is referring to. He hasn't revealed any deep dark secrets to my knowledge! He does however like to go "off on tangents" when he is supposed to be doing his math. On Friday he asked me about drugs! I told him after he completed his math, I would answer a couple of his questions. There is never a dull moment. All part of the job! It truly is a privilege to be part of the team that is equipping these young students for their future endeavours.

Tutoring for the technically challenged individual

2010-03-23T19:56:00.013-05:00

Look at this adorable 2 year old I encountered at church on Sunday night while rehearsing with our band. I couldn't believe he knew his way around this...

... Yup, an iPod touch! This two year old who can barely form sentences I understand actually taught me, a technically challenged older young woman, how to use this device! It was priceless. And look how adorable he is with his snazzy headphones! I think he should start his own business for the technically challenged!

March Break Memories

2010-03-20T19:18:00.005-05:00

PARIS 2007

Top 'O the Mornin' to Ye!

2010-03-19T14:59:00.004-05:00

Some of the pics of my St. Paddy's Day party! We left the hubby's and kids at home! We were also celebrating Jenn's birthday!

Our green gingerale. I put neon green food colouring in the gingerale!

Our "shots" of Bailey's!

Time for the hot tub...I was the only one brave enough to have her photo taken!

An Ogre I am not!

2010-03-18T17:39:00.015-05:00

The bathroom of the dental office in Kingston, ON, July 2009

People say the stupidest things. Stupid isn't really a refined word in my opinion but it is appropriate in this case. Don't they remember mama's invaluable instruction when we were youngsters ready to tackle the world, "if you can't say anything nice, don't say it at all." Quite regularly I get asked, "what is wrong with you, why aren't you married?" A very stupid question in my opinion. What do they expect me to say? "I'm really an Ogre underneath these clothes? The other day was no exception. I was driving a Community Care client to her doctor when she kept drilling me as to why I am still single. She tried every angle and wouldn't shut up. But being the polite Canadian that I am, I just smiled and said, "I have NO idea." I do believe most people mean well, but it is not a question you should be asking. It makes me feel like some kind of failure, which I AM NOT. What stupid questions have you been asked?

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

2010-03-17T17:32:00.017-05:00

"May you always have a clean shirt, a clear conscience, and enough coins in your pocket to buy a loaf of bread."

"May you have the hindsight to know where you've been, the foresight to know where you are going, and the insight to know when you have gone too far."

"May I see you grey and combing your grand children's hair."

"May your morning bring joy and your evenings bring peace, may your troubles grow less as your blessing increase!"

"May you have all the happiness and luck that life can hold-And at the end of all your rainbows, may you find a pot of gold (how about an Ulster Fry instead)!"

I am hosting a wee St. Paddy's Day party tonight. Looking forward to good friends, good food, good Bailey's, good craic, lots of laughter and hot-tubbing!
Enjoy your St. Patrick's Day holiday my fellow Northern Irish family, friends and descendants. And cheers to my other friends who will be celebrating!

eternal youth

2010-03-14T15:21:00.074-05:00

That's me, a youthful, 19 year old in Pisa, Italy, December 1986, eating bread, cheese and wine on the steps of the "Leaning Tower of Pisa."

I love people watching. I also love eavesdropping in on the conversations of strangers. Last night was no exception.

I took the GO Train into Toronto to see my friend perform in the "Latin American Music Ensemble" at Uof T's Faculty of Music. As usual, I had quite the adventure on the train.

Sitting behind me were a group of rambunctious teenage boys excited about their trip to the motor cross event at the Skydome , which is now called "The Rogers Centre." But I prefer to use the original name because it describes the unique domed stadium.

Anyways, I had no problem tuning into their gossip. No surprise it centered around farting and sex. I was most interested in one lad's dilemma with his girlfriend. He seemed quite upset, even seemingly remorseful, over the fact she was mad at him. I thought to myself, "wow, this guy has a sensitive side." My assumptions were farther from the truth. His words, " yea, her being mad at me last night meant I didn't get laid," told the whole story!

He continued to deliberate the liabilities of unprotected sex speaking at length about abortion. This topic sparked a naive (in my opinion) dialogue amongst the lads which went something like this:

Lad 1: "My girlfriend and I are prepared. But, if she gets pregnant it is free to have an abortion anyways."
Lad 2: " No it's not free."
Lad 1 and Lad 3: "Yes it is."
Lad 4: "No, it costs $70."
Lad2: " That is only if you have a health card." (my thought here: doesn't everyone, especially these teenage boys living at home and in Ontario have a health card)
Lad 2: " It costs $300 without a health card."
Lad 1&3: " S. had an abortion in Toronto last week and she's okay."

The conversation quickly switched to another topic.
Ah, *sigh* the life- and mind- of adolescent males!

On my way home, I had equally exciting conversations going on around me. A 60 year old drunk, polite, special needs man was discussing with his buddy about this "cougar who hit on him tonight!" She must have been like 80 years old! The entire train car got a play by play.
Then, a drunk 50 year old had the entire train car singing Chicago tunes! But I wasn't interested in these conversations.

Why you ask.

I was busy catching the eye of the train ambassador. He was sooo cute and kept staring at me. We kept making eye contact. Eventually we spoke snippets of wisdom to each other. I thought he was flirting with me!

Once again, my assumptions were farther from the truth! Just as I was about to exit the train at my stop, he spoke to me in his deep, sexy voice,
" you remind me of a former high school teacher of mine. She was great and I loved her."

WHHAAAATTT!
I thought he was going to ask for my phone number! I thought I still looked young enough for this hot, train ambassador to hit on me. What a fool I am! Cougar I am not! Maybe I should have made eye contact with the 60 year old drunk special needs man! I chuckled to myself, and told him I actually work in the education sector as a Teacher's Assistant (Educational Assistant is my formal title). He thought that was great! At that instant, we bid each other farewell.

In my mind, I still feel I am basking in the glory of the fountain of eternal youth and that is what matters!

you've heard of hockey moms, well here we have ...

2010-03-13T08:51:00.017-05:00

...baby chick moms.

true story. fighting, pushing, shoving, cussing, complaining to the manager. all in an effort to get their child another turn holding the baby chicks. it doesn't matter about rules apparently. only one turn per child is what the rule states. but these parents all think their child is a star and deserves a second turn, even though there is a mile- long -line- up out the door anxiously awaiting to see the baby chicks. this brings up another thought. have we been so affected by "urban sprawl" that we have to rely on a visit to a country store in order to see rural animals?

(sadly, the answer is yes. more and more farms are being sold to developers -or farmers are being forced off their land in order for more highways to be built- who in turn cut down the forests, bulldoze the farms and build big box stores and poorly made homes on prime farming land. we have confused wildlife and a confused eco-system here in southern ontario. but i digress as this was not the point of my blog!)

my friend's daughter, Halle, works at this country store and is one of the "chick" workers. unfortunately, she is also one of the recipients of some of the nasty behaviour of these "baby chick moms." she is a hard worker and is absolutely lovely. she is friendly and polite and is now going crazy because of these crazy moms. thankfully she continues to put into practice the number one rule of customer service, "the customer is always right!" She even continues to smile amidst the verbal abuse bestowed upon her each shift.

my mom and I decided to pay her a visit in order to offer our support. and I must confess, I wanted to see the baby chicks too. oh yes, and I was hoping to see one of those feisty "baby chick moms!"

no such luck. it turned out my mom and I were the only ones visiting the chicks at this time of day. good thing because I may have had a few choice words to say to them. I would have been polite! I have to defend my sweet Halle, who is like a daughter to me. we did enjoy holding the baby chicks ( actually isn't the term" baby chicks" an oxymoron? oh well, I am not going to go back and change a thing)!

lesson learned: beware of the crazy "baby chick moms" out there!

The "F" Bomb

2010-03-06T11:25:00.008-05:00

It was a first for me. Never in the history of my professional career working with teenagers - that would be 18 wonderful years- has this word been uttered AT me. Sadly, one of our new students in grade 8 (13 years old) not only uttered profanity AT me but also gave me the finger yesterday. She was suspended- for the second time. She has only been at our school for 1 1/2 weeks. Unbelievable. This young woman has many other issues going on in her life. My heart is sad. To be so broken at such a young age is unfathomable. I recovered from the "F" bomb and the "F" finger! But, I can't help wonder if she will ever recover from the deep brokenness sucking the life out of her right now. I hope so.

Living out my Golden Years with...

2010-03-06T11:10:00.006-05:00

I'm excited to show you the face of my future caretaker in my "golden years!" Thankfully there are good souls out there who actually like me! Remember this story I shared about a couple of my students:

"Later on that morning, this same student and another boy were discussing how old they would be when they graduated from university as doctors. "D" looked over at me and affirmed, "Miss W., you will be REAL old when I graduate. I can be your doctor!" "T" pipes up and pronounces in a tender voice, "Miss W., I'm sure when I'm married my wife won't mind...but you can come live with us and we will take care of you in your old age!" Isn't that just the sweetest thing ever! This boy comes from a rough background. His mother is a drug addict. His oldest half brother is in jail. He and his siblings live with their dad now. It is a good thing. They come disheveled to school everyday but they work hard and are sweet. I just may take this boy up on his offer!"

Without further adieu, here is "T" :

"T" and his dad gave me permission to take his photo and post these stories for you my blog- readers. I am grateful. "T" was actually having a good hair day when I captured this shot. Shucks! He may be small in stature, but he has a BIG heart! I will miss him when he moves onto to high school in September but look forward to my "golden years!"

Only in Canada, eh?!

2010-03-01T10:08:00.013-05:00

With the close of the 2010 Winter Olympics, I observed a few things that were typically "Canadian." Here is my list:

Only in Canada...
... with a population of over 35 million people and approximately one quarter of those 35 mill. speaking French as their first language, do we make all Olympic announcements in French first. Come on Canada, the people of the world are going to think we are all fluent in French. They will be disappointed to discover most of us dropped out of French class in our first year of high school. However, they may be suspicious when they heard the CEO of the Winter Games give his closing speech. No offense, but the poor guy slaughtered the french language. Yikes! Don't get me wrong, I like french and I like the french speaking people of this great country. The fact that I persevered through high school french class until I graduated reaped its reward when I travelled to Paris a couple of years ago. I was thrilled I could carry on somewhat decent conversations with the Parisians. However, I think it was ridiculous that they made all the announcements in French first at the Winter Games. What was up with that, eh?!

Only in Canada...
... does a gold medal win of a hockey game between Canada and the U.S. of A. unite a country in a way like no other. Millions of people took to the streets in every major city of this great country screaming, cheering, partying. The excitement was contagious. I was at church last night and watched the game on the sound board screen until overtime. Then, right before the service started someone told us Canada had won and we all went crazy- in church- go figure, eh?! ( By the way, I wore my Canadian colours, gold medal necklace, and Canadian fleece jacket, which was handmade by the Inuit. Patriotic wasn't it eh?!)

Only in Canada...
... does the excitement of the new "Roll up the Rim" contest at Tim Horton's overshadow the close of the Olympics! We need something to help us live through the rest of the cold winter, eh?!

Only in Canada...
...do we get incredibly excited about the thermometer rising to +8C on a glorious, sunny, winter weekend. It's almost sunbathing weather. Imagine that, eh?!

Only in Canada, eh

The well runs deep

2010-02-27T13:38:00.025-05:00

I went to a deep place this past week. A place I hadn't visited since I left it long ago during the innocence of my youth. It amazes me how a seemingly insignificant situation can trigger the painful memories, rather than the delightful memories, of navigating adolescence. Perhaps my sub-conscious is revisiting this place because of the context of my job at the minute.

I am fully immersed in the life and troubling times of the young teenagers in my charge at the school where I work. The drama of their life is overshadowing their educational needs. It makes me sad to see so many young teenagers ( age 12 and 13) with deep wounds already in their life. We have an amazing staff who care and are trying to steer them in the right direction. But, it takes its toll. So many damaged souls. Is it the mandate of educational institutions to care for the emotional needs of these children? It seems to be a "catch-22." Before many of these students are capable of moving forward in their academic pursuits, their damaged souls need to be mended. It is a tall order.

Hindsight tells me it is vital to walk wisely in these formative years. It is vital to form positive friendships. It is vital to be grounded in moral and academic pursuits. Yet, part of the rite of passage through adolescence is experiencing life all on our own.

I am proud of the way I manoeuvred my way through " this coming of age" juncture. It has shaped me into the strong, intelligent, amusing, beautiful woman I am today! The journey into the dark, deep well of painful adolescent experience only makes me more thankful for the life God has allowed me to live and empowers me to effectively help the teenage charges in my care!

Go Canada Go!

2010-02-27T12:53:00.022-05:00

With the much anticipated Vancouver 2010 Winter Olympics almost over, I thought I would post a few pics honouring our Canadian spirit during these games! I am so proud of our athletes who competed well and wore Canadian pride on their faces every step of the way.

My favourite Olympic winter sport is hockey. Both our women and men's teams are exceptional. Proudly I report our women's team won the GOLD medal against the USA with a final score of 2-0. There is great rivalry between Canada and our border neighbours USA! It makes the competition exciting. Last night our men's team beat Slovakia in a "nail- biter" with a final score of 3-2. This win guaranteed our team a shot at a GOLD medal against, you guessed it, the US on Sunday night. I had the unique privilege of watching last night's game at a local restaurant with a group of about 100 customers. It was thrilling to be part of the "hoopla!" Community spirit is exhilarating and makes me aware our nation is a great one! Go Canada Go!

The famous "Hudson's Bay Company" wool blanket, a symbol of Canada's fur trading history and a logo on our Olympic athlete's clothing. Check out the history here and here.

I took this pic while on the train leaving Montreal a couple weekends ago. It is a pic of an outdoor, homemade ice-hockey rink with a couple of young lads playing hockey. To me, this represents winter in Canada and makes me smile. Ice hockey is such a huge part of Canadian life for many families. As I said earlier, it is one of my favourite Olympic winter sports to watch.

Here I am last winter trying my hand at ice-hockey!

Watching last night's hockey game at Jack Astor's on the big screen with my friends San and Mare...

Go Canada Go! Wearing my Canadian attire in support of our Olympic athletes!(This photo was taken July 1, 2008 in N. Ireland!)

Just Love One Another

2010-02-21T13:16:00.045-05:00

Today I had church in the woods. Alone. Completely enveloped by nature. Protected. Protected on all sides from urban sprawl who is slowly choking , annihilating the biodiversity of nature, destroying God's awe-inspiring handiwork. It was a rare moment in these parts. I reveled in every moment of this glorious winter day.

Listening to my ipod, I danced in the snow, breathing in the beauty of the moment. The snow- covered path glistened in the sunshine. The majestic cedars, aged with wisdom, rose high into the crystal- clear blue sky. I love these moments. No distractions as I communed with God.

His words filled my mind:

"But concerning love of the brethren you have no need to have any one write to you, for you yourselves have been taught by God to love one another."
(1Thessalonians 4:9)

"My daughter, out of your depths you called upon Me, and I answered you. I have brought you through the dark valley and into this place and time of light. Know of a surety that it is I and not another who has done this. I want you to be so grounded in My faithfulness that you can share it with others. The inner knowledge you have gained through your recent trials gives added strength to your words to others who are facing dark times in their lives."
( Echoes of Eternity, Listening to the Father, Vol 2, Hal M. Helms)

Simple truths to live by. Just be grounded in God's faithfulness. Just be be grounded in God and just love one another.

I know a couple who have truly encapsulated this mandate. In fact, I am "house-sitting" for them at the minute. They have been close friends of our family for as long as I can remember. It struck me today how truly amazing this couple is. I have taken for granted the fact that my life is blessed because they are a part of my world. They have never wavered in their faith. They are incredible prayer warriors, praying every day for family, friends and missionaries. They love unconditionally. They have never turned their back on our family, even when they have had reason to do so. They forgive. They let go. They forget. They move on.

I am hemmed in on all sides by their love and faith in God. I am so glad they have faithfully shared God's truth with others. I am a contented beneficiary!

May my life be one that is authentically rooted in God's faithfulness and authentically just loves one another.

Bonjours mes amies!

2010-02-20T14:46:00.010-05:00

Here I am standing on one of the many cobblestone streets of "Vieux" - Old - Montreal, Quebec, last weekend!

Ready for a mid-winter break, I chose a colder climate rather than the warmth and sun of a more southern destination that most of my fellow Ontarians choose this time of year. It may have been a crazy decision but well worth the adventure. I chose a destination with a rich history here in Canada. In fact, it is where it all began for our country over 300 years ago. French explorers, Jacques Cartier and Samuel de Champlain left their home country and landed in "New France" in the late 1500's, early 1600's.

Montreal is one of the first cities established in Canada. Of course the aborginal peoples were already here but these french explorers didn't know that and were thrilled they discovered this great country enroute to Asia! They had no idea there was a continent in between Europe and Asia! Montreal is a beautiful city and I had the privilege of visiting friends last weekend. I recorded my trip over here at my web album site.

I am house sitting for a month so am without internet ( ugh)! Right now I am sitting with my laptop at our public library trying to frantically download pics and write this blog post before closing time! I have made comments to go along with the pics so enjoy the adventure! It truly was wonderful and felt like I was in a different country! (French is the first language of Quebec and the official second language of Canada).

Joie de vivre mes amies!

Oh I should link another one of my winter "adventures" here. Check it out!

Bosom Buddies

2010-02-06T09:23:00.044-05:00

("After the storm passed by," Bangor Country Club, Northern Ireland, July 2008)

Anne tipped the vase of apple blossoms near enough to bestow a soft kiss on a pink-cupped bud, and then studied diligently for some moments longer.
"Marilla," she demanded presently, "do you think that I shall ever have a bosom friend in Avonlea?'
"A--what kind of friend?"
"A bosom friend--an intimate friend, you know--a really kindred spirit to whom I can confide my inmost soul. I've dreamed of meeting her all my life. I never really supposed I would, but so many of my loveliest dreams have come true all at once that perhaps this one will too. Do you think it's possible?"
(Anne of Green Gables)

It comes from out of no where. When we least expect it. Life is strange that way. However, ironically life prepares us for this moment. The moment when we have to briefly step out of our self-absorbed world taking the focus off our life and its craziness and step into the world of our close circle, our bosom friends, supporting, encouraging, protecting them through their adversities. It is not the time to abandon their plight. It is the time we muster the courage to see them through to the other side.

Several beautiful souls in my circle are in the "winter of their discontent." Their angst resonates in my spirit. But, now is the time for me to support them in the ways they need supporting. It is the time for me to give them the freedom to be. No pressures. It is the time for me to pray. It is the time for me to remind them I love them and will never abandon their side.

They are resilient. They are invincible. They WILL make it to the other side of this brokenness.
Mended, strengthened, renewed. Ready for the adventure that awaits! This is the moment life prepared me to live.

my most favourite apology and compliment ever

2010-01-27T19:23:00.007-05:00

26 days ago.
my last blog post.
heavy stuff-not mine, but friends' heavy stuff- is swirling around in my head waiting to be words on this page.
as i wait patiently for the story to gestate, i encountered something today at school which deserves a blog post.

i am thinking a full moon will soon bring life to the dark, winter sky because our students have been "wanky" all week.
i am exhausted especially by the verbal banter of our intermediate students ( ages 11-13), which borders on rudeness and disrespect, to both their peers and staff. actually, it is rude and disrespectful.
today i had an encounter with a student in grade 6 who was disrespectful to me while i was trying to help him. i admit i may have been over sensitive because of the cumulation of attitude around the school all week. however he did what he did and it was wrong. i am also frustrated because i work hard to help these students-yes it is my job- but i do go the extra mile. i don't expect thank yous but do expect to be given respect. i am fair to these students and they know that. i also realize we have bad days and i do think i would have handled things differently had it not been a week from hell!
so later on in the day before lunch this boy came to the class i was in to give me a written apology. it was thick and stapled. in my mind i'm thinking, "wow, this kid has written a novel to me!"
as i was reading it, tears filled my eyes. in my mind i'm thinking, " oh K. what are you doing. do NOT cry in front of this boy. yikes. why are you reacting like this?"
here is the 5-page, large font, bold print, stapled "novel" that made tears form in my eyes:

i LOVED it! i laughed. i thought it was the sweetest thing because this boy really did mean it. he is a "bugger" in class and on the playground, but i do really like him and do see his potential. he has had a bit of a rough life in the 11 years he has lived thus far, but he will be okay. i wish i could post a pic of him because he is such a cute young man with gorgeous big brown eyes and long dark eyelashes ( no he didn't charm me into an apology !!)
i gave this boy a hug ( side hug in the public hallway!) and told him i appreciated this apology and accepted it.
i explained to him why i reacted the way i did too.
all was good and ended well.

so the rest of the day continued to be crazy until last period.
immediately as i entered the grade 8 class, my sweet "D" ( the same girl who wonders why they put letters in math equations...) said to me in an excited tone,

"O-M-G ( yes she spelled out the letters instead of using the complete words) Miss W, I LOOOVVVEEE your pearls!"

i looked at her inquisitively, paused for a moment and then the light went on!
i am still not used to this "text language" talk!
her innocent, naive comments made me laugh yet again which i was grateful for after the day i had!